Memories | Sanjoong

36. Photograph

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I wonder if you know that all of these stories are about you
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"By the sound of it, your son truly believed that those memories were his. But I believe them to be someone else's. That's how we are different. That's why I won't follow the same path that he did."

San thought back to what he said to Mr. Park as he sat in the attic of the house. It was dimly lit by a two lamps and many of the belongings were covered in either dust or white sheets. San sat down on one of the stools, lost in thought. Something had been bugging him ever since he entered the house last night, but he couldn't work out what it was.

Sighing, San looked at the frayed, leather book that Mr. Park had given him. He ran his hand along the cover hesitant to open it. He feared what he may find out but at the same time, the anticipation was killing him. Slowly, he opened it to the first page.

I've lost count of how many days I've been looking for him. Ever since I saw him that night, I knew that I was stupid to have let him go.

My Seok

San paused at the name. It felt familiar, but he didn't like it. Almost everything he started finding out in this house felt too familiar and it made him feel uneasy. San had the idea that maybe whatever Mr. Park's son saw was the same as what he saw. But what was the likelihood of that?

"San? Are you still in here?" Hongjoong called. A few seconds later, Hongjoong's head popped through the attic door. "How's it going?"

San sighed heavily. "Not great. How long have I been sitting here for?"

"About an hour now," Hongjoong replied. He walked to San and crouched next to him, looking around. "There's no light or clock here."

"It doesn't feel like an hour," San mumbled. Had he spaced out the entire time?

"Is there anything I can help with?" Hongjoong questioned, but he only received a dismal shrug from San. After a few moments of silence, Hongjoong spoke again. "Why did you ask me to come with you?"

San looked at Hongjoong blankly. "What do you mean?"

"I know nothing about this, I have no idea how to help you find this- whatever it is you are looking for!"

"Joong I don't need someone to help me figure these things out," San said, placing a hand on Hongjoong's knee. "Even Wooyoung can barely help me. No-one but me knows exactly what I see and how it feels. Just listening to me retell what I see isn't as useful as you may think."

"I know, but I still hate not being able to do anything."

San smiled softly. "I know, but what I need is someone who can support me. I'll figure things out on my own, but it would be nice to have someone by my side... y'know?"

Hongjoong put his hand over San's one, caressing it gently. "I do, and I'll always be by your side."

San looked at Hongjoong, blushing at the eye contact but not being able to break away from it. He suddenly remembered what Hongjoong had said before they had left for this trip.

"Stop apologising. We both made mistakes. We're both idiots."

"But this idiot loves you... like crazy."

"You don't have to respond. I just wanted to make sure you knew."

And San did know. He knew better than anyone how much Hongjoong really loved him. Every time he looked into Hongjoong's eyes, he saw nothing but complete attention and adoration - almost as if it were blind love. And each time it made San's heart flutter as he fell in love all over again.