Memories | Sanjoong

32. Mistakes

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There's always that one stupid mistake that changes everything
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"Listen to me, pack a bag for me and you. A weekend trip. I'm turning my location on, come and pick me up as fast as you can."

San pocketed his phone and made it out of the door, but he couldn't stop there. He had to keep running. He turned a couple of corners until he made it to an alleyway. As San tried to catch his breath, he thought about the recent events and slowly, tears began welling up.

He wiped them away with his sleeve and clicked on Wooyoung's contact. He waited for an answer for a long time, hope crumbling with every ring.

'Sorry but the person you have called is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone.'

San's breath was shaky. "Wooyoung..." he said in a small voice, but his crying became louder as he sat himself down on the floor, sniffling and breathing heavily. "Tell me you weren't in on it. Tell me this was all Seonghwa's fault. It can't be you... it just can't be but... d-do you really not believe me anymore?" San couldn't control his sobs anymore.

He had finally lost the one person he thought he had. Now he really was alone.

No one believed him.

No one except...

"San! What happened?" Hongjoong exclaimed, hopping out of his car, and running to the frail boy in the alley. As soon as he crouched down next to him, San fell into Hongjoong's arms, body trembling.

"I... don't know... if I can do this anymore," he said between sobs. "I can't take it anymore. I can't- I can't-"

"Shhh," Hongjoong whispered, holding San tightly. "I don't know what happened, but you don't have to do it all on your own. Whatever it is, share it with me. I'll believe in you and help you overcome whatever is hurting you so bad."

San gradually lifted his head and made eye contact with Hongjoong. "I'm sorry."

"What for? You haven't done anything."

"I'm sorry for being a shitty boyfriend. I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry that I lied to you so many times. I'm sorry that I didn't give you the love you deserve. I'm sorry that I was so stupid that I couldn't see how much you loved me. I'm sorry for being such an asshole every time you just wanted to help. I'm sorry that I kept pushing you away. I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark all the time. I'm sorry for-"

Hongjoong leaned forward and silenced San with a short kiss. Neither realised how much they missed the feeling of each other's lips, how much they missed each other's warmth and love. When he pulled away, he wiped San's stained cheeks with his thumbs.

"Stop apologising. We both made mistakes," he whispered, with a small laugh. "We're both idiots."

San nodded and looked down at their linked hands. "But this idiot loves you... like crazy." When he heard those words, San looked up in surprise at the sudden confession.

And suddenly it was as though they we're back at the start of their relationship. Back to two years ago when Hongjoong first asked San out.

Hongjoong smiled softly. "You don't have to respond," he said, looking down at their hands. "I just wanted to make sure you knew."

After a couple of moments of silence, San pulled his hands away from Hongjoong and stood up, wiping his face, and finally composing himself. He pulled out his phone and looked at the time. It was 5pm already which meant that he had missed the train. San looked through the ticket availability and was lucky that he managed to find another ticket for 7pm. He sighed and pocketed his phone.