Memories | Sanjoong

42. Ocean Deep

*
"Your love took over me
On the bottom of the ocean
Halfway drowning"
*

"Seok's life is my past. Seok's wishes are my wishes. The desperation in his last breath is the reason why I see these memories. Seok wants to meet his lover and be together with him again... not Hongjoong."

The words stuck to him, tugging at his heartstrings as he watched Hongjoong happily help Mr Park make breakfast, oblivious to the pain San felt inside. Though San wasn't able to respond to his recent confession, he loved Hongjoong with all his heart, but his new revelations made him sceptical.

His new mission was simple: find Hongsik in this lifetime.

But what would he do after that? Fall in love again? Live a happily ever after with him? If so... what will become of his relationship with Hongjoong?

Was this... the end?

"You've got your head in the clouds," Mr. Park said as he placed breakfast in front of San. "What's worrying you?"

"Didn't Wooyoung tell you to take a break? Why are you still thinking about it?" Hongjoong said, taking a seat next to San.

"It's not like I can help it when my mind wanders," San muttered.

"Nonetheless, it's not worth doting on these thoughts. You need to let things happen at their own pace and not rush it. Nature has its course. There is a time for everything," Mr Park replied.

"He's right y'know," Hongjoong added, waving his fork at San.

"San you know it's very important for you to stay within the present. Don't lose your way by focusing too much on the past," Mr Park said.

And San kept those words at the forefront of his thinking throughout the entire day. Hongjoong wanted San to take a break and so here he was sitting by the beach whilst Hongjoong had run off to get them some drinks, Mr Park's words echoing along with the sound of crashing waves. San didn't completely understand why Hongjoong would bring him to see the ocean when he knew how San feared the brine. The smell of the sand and the sea alone was enough to make San feel sick.

"Here," Hongjoong placed the drink in front of him upon his arrival. The two of them sat in silence for a while, San keeping his eyes fixated on his drink and not having the heart to look at the never-ending horizon in the same way Hongjoong did.

"I know what you're thinking," Hongjoong began with a sigh. "I know you don't like being here and you're wondering why I would bring you here."

"Yeah... it's not exactly date material if one of us is-" San started with a chuckle but paused when he realised what he had said.

"Date?" Hongjoong mumbled, unsurprisingly latching onto the word. "Do you- I mean... is this a... date?"

San's ears turned a dark shade of pink as he shifted in his seat, praying he could somehow avoid this question. When Hongjoong noticed he smiled to himself. He leant forward and took one of San's hands in his own.

"Don't get all shy on me! I was hoping you would consider this a date too," Hongjoong replied with the same grin still etched on his face.

San looked down at their intertwined hands and then up at Hongjoong's smile and his heart skipped a beat as memories of their first few dates flashed before him.

"I brought you here because I know that you only have bad thoughts associated with the beach and I thought maybe you needed some good memories to cancel that out."

"Joong, I almost died at the beach,"

"Not you, it was Seok. You didn't have any accident at the beach so there's nothing to worry about," Hongjoong reiterated.