Memories | Sanjoong

1. Rain

*

Life will eventually become a memory;
Even the painful moments are memories

*

The dry field stretched out for miles on end, meeting the cloudy sky somewhere on the horizon. Though the wind ruffled his blonde locks, San was determined to find what he came for. He looked at the tiny instructions he'd written out for himself on a napkin, tightening his grip as the wind decided to blow harder, making him squint his eyes a little.

"Where are you?" He mumbled to himself, looking at the sky. The clouds that had been there since he started his journey had suddenly become ominous swirls, drifting above San's head. In the distance, he spotted a cabin-like shack almost begging him to come in and take shelter from the storm that threatened to occur. However, to San, the shack seemed somehow familiar.

As though he'd been their before...

But he couldn't have... could he?

Even closing his eyes for a second sent shooting pain to San's head as flashes of a faded memory forced itself to be remembered. He hissed in pain, holding the bridge of his nose as he unwillingly watched a scene replay in his mind.

"The countryside!" He heard his own voice squeal excitedly. "You really did this for me?"

"You've always wanted to live here right? In this very field..." another voice spoke, but the face of the person seemed blurred.

"You still remember that?" San asked, a little awkwardly.

"Of course... it's ours now if you want it. We can live the rest of our lives here... together."

San looked up again at the misshapen building, as it flickered from a beautiful cottage to a run down shack, the past merging with the present, causing him to stumble for a second.

This was it.

Dropping the napkin instructions he'd been following, San staggered towards it, still holding onto the left side of his head. There were bricks and wood planks on the ground, eroding with age and almost fully covered by the overgrown grass and weeds surrounding it. There was a well on the left side, part of it's wall now just a pile of stones. The old cottage roof had various sections missing, two of the windows were broken from harsh winds and moss had grown along all four sides.
Yet in this moment, it seemed like the most beautiful thing San had ever seen.

This is exactly what he had been looking for.

He walked inside, shaking as he heard the wind whistling through the holes in the walls and sending chills through his body. On one side, he saw stairs that led to another storey and on the other, he saw a narrow hallway leading to two larger rooms. He decided to walk in further, only to see that there was paper - an assortment of different kinds - all strewn across the floor.

When he entered the living area, he noticed it was messier than the hallway. Not only paper, but lighter furniture had toppled over and there were smashed glasses and pottery in different parts of the room. It looked as though there had been a large fight in there, or someone had thrown everything in a fit of rage.

However, what caught San's eye was a particular chair that was on its side and had a broken leg. Next to it was a rope tied in a loop and next to that was a stain of blood on the once clean and dustless carpet. San's eyes were brimming with tears as he collapsed next to his discovery. His heavy sobs echoed louder than the howling winds as horrible, unwanted memories made way to the surface of his mind, ready to torture him as they always did. They were more vivid and clearer than usual, but still the only thing that San wanted to see was blurred...

The identity of the faceless man.

-

The rain that had been pouring all night had finally stopped, but the murky atmosphere remained the same. San was not really asleep, but not really awake either, laying on the worn out carpet, humming a familiar tune. He couldn't remember the name of the song, but he always found himself subconsciously humming it or singing it to himself ever since he was a child. There was a time when he remembered part of the lyrics, so he spent a whole day just searching to find out what the song was.

He was never successful.

In the silence, the sound of his breathing and the sound of his heartbeat took over. However, it was quickly disrupted by a dull, ringing phone. San wanted to ignore it, but he was curious too. It was around 4am... who would be calling now? Shivering due to the cold, he answered the call, shakily placing it next to his ear.

"Hello?"

"San! It me - Wooyoung! Where have you been?" He heard his best friend's voice question.

"I just have something I need to do," San replied, stifling a yawn. "I'll be back tomorrow night."

"San!" Wooyoung whined. "Don't tell me it's what I think it is..." San remained silent. He knew he would get an earful from his friend for what he was doing, but it was all still necessary. "I've told you a hundred times! Just forget those stupid memories San. They're not yours. You're only chasing a past that has nothing do do with you! It should be none of your concern."

"But they are... there's got to be a reason why I was born with them... there just has to be..."

"And how long will you keep searching?" Wooyoung asked, his voice turning softer and more sympathetic. "You go on a random trip almost every month. I can't keep covering for you San... Hongjoong keeps asking about you and pesters me to tell him where you are and your mum... she's worried too y'know..."

"I know..." San whispered. "I'll stop this nonsense ok? Just let me have this one... and then when I come back home, I'll stop trying to find out. How's that sound?"

"Please keep your word."

"I will." San hung up, sitting up and leaning against the couch. He looked around again, sighing as he took out his camera...

I'm sorry if this is an awkward place to stop. I just didn't want the chapter to get too long.

Welcome to memories lol

The updates for this will not be regular yet (sorry 😓) because I want to focus on finishing Leader first.
I hope you liked the first chapter. Let me know how it was and as always, feedback is appreciated :)

@MiNgk0