Gravity Falls X Reader

Irrational Treasure

The triplets are eating Corncornos inside Stan's car. Stan is honking while Mabel attaches nachos from her chip bag to her ears. "Ha-ha! Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!" Mabel said. "That's debatable. Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all...covered wagons? Oh no! No! No!" Stan pushes the gas pedal. "Not today! Not today!" He yelled. A few women gasp in the presence of him nearly running them over. He backs up, and begins to drive the car backwards. "Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" (Y/n) asked. "We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late!" Stan shouted. Stan sees that his car his trapped between a group of covered wagons. "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!" He shouted. 

Mabel looks outside her window and sees a cow. "I've got a good feeling about today." She said. The triplets and Stan get out of the car and walk around an old fashioned-looking Main Street. "Man. Look at the town." Dipper holds a post card up for a second. When he lowers it, the town is a sepia shade, but it is just due to a pane of dirty glass. A worker is walking by, holding one end of the pane of dirty glass. "Dirty glass. We got dirty glass! Dirty glass." He shouted. "Ah, boy. It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded." Stan said. "Welcome to 1863!" Tobey Determined shouted. "I will break you, little man!" Stan shouted. "Ah!" Tobey runs away and crashes into a barrel. People are doing various activities, including doing candle dipping. "Wow! Look! Candle dipping!" Mabel said.

People are doing gold panning. Old Man McGucket, who is also gold panning, can be heard in the background, saying "Gold!" "Whoa, gold panning!" (Y/n) said. "I now pronounce you man and wife." A Priest said to a man and woodpecker. "I do!" The man said. "What the...?" (Y/n) asked. "Oh yeah. I remember this." Dipper said, then he takes out Journal 3. " In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers." Dipper explained. "Oh, it's still legal." The man said. The man puts a hand on his shoulder, where the woodpecker is perched. "Very legal." He said. He walks away as the announcer speaks up. "Okay..." (Y/n) said, weirded out. "Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!" The announcer said. "Grunkle Stan, you coming?" Dipper asked. "No, thank you! Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me." Stan shouted. 

"There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!" (Y/n) said. "Well hornswabber my haversack!" Mabel said. The three spit on ground and run off, laughing. "Dead to me!" Stan shouted. A crowd assembles around a large stage. "Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence." Sheriff Blubs said. "Woo! I got a bell!" Deputy Durland said, ringing the bell. In the audience, a robber steals an old woman's purse. "Oh, no! Police, my purse!" An old women shouted. Durland continues to ring the bell. "Ring ring! Ring ring! Woo!" He said. Durland chuckles. "He sure loves his bell." He said. Pacifica comes on stage and taps a microphone. "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich." She bragged. The crowd applauds. "Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself." She said. Mabel gasps.

"Audience participation!" She said. "I don't know, Mabel. Isn't that girl kinda like your arch-enemy?" Dipper asked. "She's definitely mine." (Y/n) said, crossing her arms and glaring at her. "Oh, come on, (Y/n). It's all water under the bridge." She laughs and runs onstage. "Mabel!" (Y/n) called after her. "Our first newcomer is... " Pacifica sees Mabel. " Mabel..." she said angrily. "Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!" Mabel shouted. "USA! USA!" The crowd shouted. "I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous." Pacifica said. "I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?" She mocked. "Hey, I can be serious!" Mabel glares at her. "You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon." Pacifica said. 

Mabel touches her nacho earrings and blushes. "Haha, wow, I'm embarrassed for you. Give her a hand everybody!" She said. The crowd applauds and Dipper looks worried and (Y/n) looks furious. Mabel sadly walks off of the stage. "Now who wants to hear more about me?" Pacifica asked. "Excuse us." Dipper said to the people standing near them as he and (Y/n) make their way toward Mabel. "Everyone say Northwest!" Pacifica said as the Northwest Family lines up for a photo. "Northwest!" The camera clicks, taking a picture. " We're perfect." Pacifica said. "Are you okay?" (Y/n) asked Mabel. "I need some old-timey butterscotch." She replied. "Guys, can I ask you something? Do you think I'm silly?" Mabel asked. "Uh, nnnoooo?" Dipper asked. (Y/n) glared at him.