Gravity Falls X Reader

Society of the Blind Eye

Lazy Susan hums while sweeping a broom across the floor. "Ta dum, locking up." She peers at possums scurrying around in the dishes, and pokes the possums with her broom. "Shoo, possums, shoo!" She walks near a table. "Git, McGucket, git!" She pokes him with a broom, making him run out from underneath the table on all fours, panting, and mumbling incoherently. "Ta dum, ta dum..." she locks the door. "Good night, diner. Good night, trees." She passes by the gnomes standing on top of each other, attempting to steal a pie. "Good night, tiny men stealing my pie. Wait, WHAT?!" She lifts her eyelid. 

"Lift with your knees. No, your knees. If I go one more hour without eating, I'm gonna resort to cannibalism." Jeff notices Lazy Susan, and tips his hat. "Ma'am." He greeted. She shrieks. "Little magic men! What does it mean? What do I do?" She bumps into a payphone and dials 911. "Yes, hi. I's like to report something. I'm at Greasy's Diner. You won't believe what I've witnessed." Two figures are sneaking up behind her, from a patch of nearby bushes. "It's unbelievable! It's indescribable! It's- AAAAAAAH!!" The figures sneak up behind her and kidnap her, dragging her away. "It is unseen." Blind Ivan said. The Blind Eye symbol is graffitied on the wall. "Welp, back to pie." The gnomes grab the pie and run off. A gnome accidentally drops a slice. "I was this close to eating you, Steve." Jeff said.

Time Skip

Dipper is examining a poster board on his wall entitled "Who is The Author? "Alright author, who are you? Who are you?..." Dipper chews on a pen, which accidentally breaks getting ink in his mouth. "Blech! Not again." He tosses it into a bin full of broken pens. (Y/n) then comes in. "Breaking more pens again, Dips?" She teased playfully. Dipper fakes a laugh. "Very funny, (Y/n)." He said sarcastically. "Hey guys!" Mabel runs in with a bottle. "Look what I got!" She said. "Yay, a filthy green bottle." (Y/n) said sarcastically. "It's a bottle message from Mermando, remember? He was part fish, part shirtless guy." Mabel gasps. "What if he wants to get back together?" She asked. "I wouldn't get your hopes up, Mabel." Dipper said. "Too late! Hopes are way way up!" Mabel squeals excitedly, opens the bottle cap and reads the letter. "Dear Mabel..." So far so good! "It is with a heavy heart..." So far so good! "...that I must inform you, I'm getting married"?! Mabel asked. "And there it is." (Y/n) said. "In order to prevent an undersea civil war... arranged wedding... Queen of the Manatees?!" 

Mabel looks at the picture. "And she's so beautiful!" Mabel sighs. "This can't be happening!" She shouted. "Oh, Mabel. You'll get over him eventually." Dipper said. "You don't understand, Dipper." Mabel pulls out her scrapbook. "On my first day here, I made this page for summer romances. Look at my luck." She points to a picture of Norman. "Turned out to be gnomes." She points to a picture of Gabe Bensen. "Made out with his own hands. And now..." she writes "FAILED" at the top of the page. "I wish I could just forget about them forever." She said. "Hey, if it's any consolation, our summer mission isn't a huge success either. Dipper and I are still trying to find the author of this journal, but with his laptop smashed, we've lost any lead in finding him." (Y/n) said. Mabel looks at the laptop. "Wait a minute. Guys, look!" She said. "Through your bottle?" Dipper asked. "Just do it." Mabel said. Dipper peers through the bottle, and notices a logo entitled "McGucket Labs" magnified on the back of the laptop. "McGucket Labs." Wait, Old Man McGucket?" He asked. "What?" (Y/n) asked. She then looked through herself. "Guys, you don't think?..." (Y/n) asked. "It couldn't be... It doesn't make any sense, unless..." Dipper starts connecting pictures and tying strings to the author. This matches with this... This goes over here... And then the name... So then, that would mean... Old Man McGucket wrote the journal?!" He asked.

Time Skip

"Am I blanchin',

Girl we blanchin',

I live up in a mansion

Am I blanchin',

Girl we blanchin

I live up in a mansion