Gravity Falls X Reader

The Stanchurian Candidate

"Alright Stan, another day, another random body pain. Here we go." Stan puts on slippers that are soaked in milk. "Ugh!" Stan finds a note on his desk that reads: "Dear Stan, I need something to carry milk in so I used your slippers. Love, Mabel." Stan shudders and walks into the kitchen and tries to turn on a light but the light bulb bursts. He groans and goes to find a new light bulb but finds that the box is empty except for a note that reads: "Dear Stan, I took these to build a planetarium suit for Soos! Sorry! Dipper." Stan grumbles and crumples the note. Stan is waiting in line in a grocery store at the checkout counter with light bulbs. Robbie, Lee, Tambry and Nate show up behind him. "Whoa, let's not take this line. There's an old person in it." Lee said. "Psh, yeah. He's probably gonna pay with like, pennies and, war bonds." Robbie said. "Hey! For your information, I was gonna shoplift most of this." Stan said. "Security!" The cashier shouted. Security guards rush to Stan. "Ha! Smoke bomb!" Stan throws a smoke bomb on the floor that reads "Expire 11/1996"; nothing happens.

 "Aw, seriously?" The security guards tackle Stan. "Ahh!" Later, Stan is coming home bruised with the box of light bulbs. "Ugh. Rough start to a day." Stan walks towards the kitchen. "But it's all gonna be worth it when I fix that light bul-" Stan walks in to see Ford screwing in a light bulb with the triplets. "And... we're... done!" Ford said. The triplets cheer. "Does anyone see this? This is what a hero looks like right here." Mabel said. "I thought we were out of light bulbs." Stan said. "Oh we were, so I invented my own! It will last a thousand years and the light it emits makes your skin softer." Ford said. "Oooh!" (Y/n), Dipper, Mabel and Soos said. "Never have I known such softness!" Soos said. "Anyway, where were you?" Ford asked. Stan drops the new light bulbs in the trash; then goes to the TV and picks up the remote. "Well, TV at least you appreciate me. Give me the good news." Stan turns on the TV. "This just in, the mayor is dead." Shandra said. "What?!" Stan asked. The triplets walked in. "Whoa, what's going on?" (Y/n) asked. "Raised by bears in the wilderness, Mayor Eustace Huckabone Befufftlefumpter was best known for raising the water tower, possibly starting World War I, and putting town menace Gideon Gleeful behind bars, in actual adult prison. A memorial statue is already being carved in the deceased mayor's honor." She cries while her co-host comforts her. "I'm sorry. It's just been so long since we've had real news. I'm just so happy!" She keeps crying. "There will be a town hall meeting this afternoon to discuss replacing him." Shandra's co-host said. "New mayor huh? Wonder who it could be..." Stan sees his reflection in the TV.

Time Skip

"Alright. Order! Order everyone! Calm down now! We're here to choose a mayor for the first time in almost a century. According to the town charter," he unrolls an old scroll as a bat flies out of it "a worthy candidate is defined as anyone who can cast a shadow, count to ten, and throw their hat into the provided ring." Sheriff Blubs said. Deputy Durland brings out a hoop and places it on the floor; Bud Gleeful immediately throws his hat in it. "Wait, Bud Gleeful?" Dipper asked. "He looks good! Considering we threw his son in jail." Mabel said. "That was a good day." (Y/n) said. "Now folks, I know our family's had its fair shares of whoopsie daisies in the past, but I'd like to make up for it by formally announcing my candidacy for the mayor of Gravity Falls! Any questions?" Bud asked. "Yes, are you still in contact with Lil' Gideon?" Toby Determined asked. "That's a great question, I'm giving you 50% off a used car." Bud said. "Fifty percent?! FIFTY PERCENT?!!!" Toby rips his notepad in half. "In fact, everyone look under your seats." Bud points at people in the crowd. "You get half off a used car! You get half off a used car!" He said, Mabel pulls out a car discount coupon from under her chair. "Wow, a colorful piece of paper? He's got my vote!" She said. "What?!" (Y/n) screeched. "After everything his son did to us? He used Bill on Stan, he stole the shack, and even tried to kidnap me and Dipper with that giant robot! Remember?! He was probably going to keep me hostage as his girlfriend and end up torturing Dipper or something!" (Y/n) shouted. Mabel cringed. "You're right. I take it back." She agreed. "Yeah, guys, I've got a really bad feeling about Bud Gleeful as mayor." Dipper agreed. "I dunno, dude, it's not like we have a lot of good mayor options. Everyone in this town is a tad strange. Except, ironically, Tad Strange." Soos said. "Hi guys, Tad's the name, and being normal's my game." Tad said. "Loving you, Tad!" Mabel said. Tad holds up a slice of bread. "And I love bread!" He shouted. "It's a shame Ford isn't here, he'd run. And win! And be a great mayor!" (Y/n) said. "So since everyone's happy I'll just take the oath of office now, sound good, gavel up?" Stan throws his fez in the hoop, and everyone gasps. "Hold it right there Bud! I'm taking you on!" Everyone gasps. "Stanford? No o-ffence but you're just some two-bit carnival barker. And your head is more ears than face!" Bud said. "Oh yeah? Well your face is more fat... than... not fat!" Stan shouted. Everyone gasps again.