Deadly love | Chacha

Trust no one

~Chapter 76~
Trust no one

Charlis POV:
I can't believe he's doing this to me. I can't believe it. I hate him. It's not like I didn't know this would happen if he found out. I knew this would happen but still, no matter how much I prepared for it, I would have never been ready for him to pick someone over me.

I hate him but I hate myself even more. I hate myself for caring too much. I care too much about him. Obviously way more than he cares about me.

When Elliot died, we had each other. We went through it together. And this will sound really shitty, but I would have rathered Elliot die then Chase. It sounds fucked up but it's true. If Chase died, I would never be able to love anyone ever again. But now that same decision is in his hands, pick his kid or never see me again and he's picking to never see me again.

I sound selfish, I sound like a messed up person. I am a messed up person. Who makes someone pick between someone they love and their kid. Who does that. Me. I do that. Why? Because I see it the real way. This will never work if I didn't make him pick, I don't want to take care of a kid especially Delilahs. So how on earth would we make it through that. We wouldn't. So I'm just skipping to the end.

Chase: "You never want to see me again? Really?"

Yes really? Do I have to make it more clear??

Chase: "so? That's it? You're giving up on us. Do you not love me or something? Because clearly you've given up pretty easy."

I'm not giving up easy?! Does he know how hard this is for me? He thinks it's hard to be in his position? No. It's hard to be in mine. Because at the end of the day he has 1 of 2 options, be with someone he loves or be with someone he loves. What are my options? Wait for him to pick me or be alone.

Charli: "don't you understand?? I don't not love you! I love you too much, I can't even share you??"

I love him more than he loves me.

Charli: "get out."

I pushed him to the door

Chase: "no. This is our house."
Charli: "this is my house! My names on the deed! Go!"

I pushed him but he resisted me

Chase: "Where?? Where am I supposed to go!"
Charli: "maybe you should have thought about that before you picked her! Or before you got her pregnant!"

How could he not be more careful?? Did he really want a kid with her at that time??

I pushed him out the door and closed it then quickly locked it

Chase: "this isn't over Charli! It's not over!"
Charli: "trust me! It's over!"

As soon as there was silence I started to cry. Hard. I couldn't stop.
I hated it.

Why. How did this happen so fast? How could this happen. I love him. I love him so much.

I thought about all of our memories. He took care of me. He's the reason I'm alive right now. He pushed me to keep living. He showed me what love is.

Why is he leaving me...

I cried into the pillow for who knows how long