Count Down: Hawks X Reader

Day 27: A Little Comfort

⚠️Warming⚠️
-self harm

Your povs

Another day closer to death. I went to work and nothing new happens. Now I'm home in my bed. I decided to rewrap my arms. I was unraveling the bandages my arms when the door bell rang. I quickly stopped and kind half hazardous covered them. I went to the door.

"Hey." It was non other than Hawks.

"Hi." I said hiding behind the door.

"Can I come in?" He said.

I slightly panicked and said "No!"

I relaxed that might have Ben strange and quickly tried to correct it "I mean.... Ummm no because I'm busy?"

He seem concerned and worried "is there anything I can help with? Cuz clearly it's not because your busy. Lying is not gonna do any good you know?"

I gave a awkward laugh "Well I wasn't lying just. Not willing? I guess."

"Whatever it is I can help."

"You can't." I Simple stated. This wasn't something I need someone for. It's not something I need someone to see. It was just something, something that I need to hide from the world.

So how come you came?" I asked.

"I was think about you. So I though I drop by. " he said "so what were you doing"

"Rewrapping" I said.

"Let me help then."

"Again no thank you.  Thank you for your concern. "

"—————" he said sternly.

I don't know why but I just couldn't say no. Not to Hawks when he said my name so full of care but also confident. I finally let him in. He smiled and walked in after taking his shoe off. I want to get the bandages.

When I come back, I warned him "don't as question, don't pity me, do not freak out,"

Okay." He said.

I sat next to him and allowed him to finish unraveling my bandages. He seem happy to be able to help me but that quickly changed as soon as he saw. He saw my scars, my few cuts and my old cuts. It wasn't pity I saw but sadness.

"... why?" He simply asked as he clean the wounds.

"I need to. " I simple said.

"There are ways than this."

"There isn't Hawks, I knew sometime like you would say this. That's why I refused. This isn't something any hero or any person can help me with. Believe I tried. Also I said no question."

"You can't hurt yourself like this..."

"Don't act like you know me okay? This is just how I survive. That's all I'm willing to tell you okay?"

He stayed silent as he did the rest. We sat there for along time in silence. I can tell things where uncomfortable but yet it felt so right.  He finally decided to hug me, he probably made an assumption. Who wouldn't? I hugged back! Not because I need it but I want to comfort him.

"Please don't hurt yourself." He said.

"I can't it's... complicated. Trust me it's not like. Have a choice." I said looking at him.

He looked directly into my eyes, as if desperately to see if I was lying or not. He let go of me and I did the same for him. He nodded "at least let me do this for you, let me come and help."

"Why Do this ? Don't you have work or some sh*t?"

"Well duh of course but .... I don't know. Instinct? Maybe. I just feel like I need to... no I WANT to help you. And it's not a hero thing."

"Okay." Was all I said.

For the rest of that day Hawks stayed by my side. Watching movies and talking about stupid stuff. It was nice to have someone to talk to aside form Kai.