Count Down: Hawks X Reader

Day 15: Love

⚠️Warning⚠️
-Major SELF harm stufff!!!

Your pov:

Yet another day that Hawks spent the night in my house. It was lovely having someone like Hawks around. He was funny, intelligent and dorky. I'm glad I had a friend like him. I was awake before him and I went to my bathroom to do my daily draining if you will.

Welp let's just say I forgot to lock the door and a sleepy Hawks walked in on me. He was immediately wide awake and help my hand in a panic to stop me.

"Ah f*ck, it's not what it looks like!" I said.

He looked sad but kept cool trying to clean my newly from cut.

"______, it's okay if you don't want to talk about it, just please don't do it."

"Hawks I know what this looks like and I know you worried but get out and let me do this okay? Everything is fine. I am fine." I said firmly.

"______."

After a good few seconds later I decided to say something "Hawks, do you trust me?"

"That is irrelevant right now, let me help stopping the bleeding."

"Just answer the question."

"Of course."

"You don't want me to die right?"

"Yes"

"Then let me do this alone, I promise if you wait I tell you the whole truth." I looked into his golden eyes dead seriously.

He looked at me for a few minutes, probably trying find the slightest of hint that I might be unstable. He signed and finally let me go. He quietly left me alone, but not without a few feathers on the bathroom floor. Once I was done I clean up the mess and disinfected my cuts old and new. Then rewrapped them.

I left the bathroom and saw Hawks waiting for me on the couch. 

"Let me make breakfast and we can talk." I said.

It was silent as I made me and Hawks food. He help set up the table and we ate in silence. We clean up and we sat in the couch together.

"You said you explain, but if it's uncomfortable you don't have to," he said, his voice was gentle and yet I could tell he's worried.

"No no I promise an answer and that's what I plan to do. This is about my quirk." I said "My body doesn't have a way to regulate and release the venom that I am able make.  As a result it builds up in my blood and can well kill me. The only way that I can let it out is by cutting and letting it drain for new blood to generate."

"That doesn't sound like permanent solution. Have you talked to a doctor?"

"Your right it's not. And yes. They all didn't expect I even survived this long. They all give up on that.." 

"So you do.... Umm.... that every day?"

"Yeah. Sorry to scare you."

"You're not.... Suicidal... right?"

"Hell no! I don't like it either, I just gotten used to it."

"Sorry this must have been personal."

"It's fine, you deserve a explanation."

Hawks hugged me gently and said "is there anything I can help? Anything? A better doctor? Or better bandages? Helping you clean those?"

I didn't have the heart to tell him the whole truth. The truth that even with this "routine" my quirk is slowly killing me. Yet I think Hawks knew that, he's smart enough to figure that this wasn't an actual solution, so he's smart enough to figure I won't live a long life like others.   How cruel the world can be.

"No one can. Not even you. Hero." I said.

"Even so I'll try. Try to save you. No matter what."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

"We can't Hawks." I said sadly.

"We can, if you let me in. Let me be yours and let yourself be mine."

"You'll only get hurt." I said as my eyes start to water.

"Your in pain. I know you don't want to have to face this alone. I'm here."

"I'm not going to get better, you'll be alone a——"

"Do you love me?"

"Hawks....."

"Do you love me?"

"Hawks I can't. I shouldn't."

"______, I'm not asking if you can or not. I'm asking if you like me."

"I..... I do."

"Then let me be with you. For however long you have in life. I want to spend my time with you. Let me be there and make your life the best life you can have. Let me have this time that you have together. ________ I don't care how long you have left. Just let me be with you. I love you, all of you. Even if I will hurt once your gone.  You deserve love. You deserve so much more."

I could fight him, not when he so genuine. So much love for me. I didn't say a word. I just let it happen, let him love me. Because I love him. He's perfect. It was then I gave him a kiss. Kiss on the lips. He kissed back. It was the best kisss and my first kiss.  Time.... For the first time in ages I wish I had more time. Time for him.