Dear X,
I can't believe anything you say.
You're such a dyke!
Don't lie to me anymore.
There isn't anything you can do, you really fucked up.
Don't you know how self centered you are?
I'm just fucking done.
Don't talk to me...ever.
You just became the ultimate bitch.
No wonder he didn't want to be friends with you.
I said stop lying to me!
Well if you'd stop being so selfish-
For fuck's sake, you're 14 and not a virgin!
You're the biggest mistake I ever made.
I'm sorry. I can't take it. I'm saying goodbye for good.
And then I had to fucking worry if you killed yourself or some shit!
What the fuck is wrong with you!?
You made me feel like I don't belong anywhere.
Are you fucking stupid?
Do us all a favor and stop being a dumbass.
Goodbye.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.
I was messing around...
I promised I would try to stop cutting and I feel bad because it feels like I'm not. I can assure you that I'm trying-you have no clue how much I'm trying-but I've already cut since then. I just feel like...like...I don't know. I feel empty. Not the normal emptiness I've gotten used to, this is new. I feel nothing. I'm not numb, I feel nothing. It doesn't make sense but there's a difference. I feel everything happening but it doesn't mean anything. I don't mean anything. I'm empty. I'm nothing. You could kill the person I care about most and I wouldn't feel anything. I would continue staring off into space. In the grande scheme of things my pathetic life doesn't matter. My death will not be a huge impact. A few people will be sad for a few years, then they'll die and I will be forgotten. Just. Like. That. So really, it doesn't matter if I die tonight. People are dying every day and only a handful of people care about them, why would I be any different? And fuck, I am so selfish. There are starving people out there who would kill for the food I have the opportunity to eat, but here's my dumb ass caring about my appearance and ignoring the food I could have. Here I am, taking advantage of the fact that I actually have a bed to cry myself asleep in rather then the cold fucking ground. I always think "wow my parents suck, I wish it would be fucking great to leave them" when some people would kill to have their parents back even if they didn't like them that much. Here I am, thinking life is so bad when people have it so much worse than me, compared to them my life seems like a joyride and I can't realize all the good things I have because I'm too focused on trying to be happy.
