Dear X,
I'm sorry I didn't write for a week. I just...you know what? I'm not going to use my bullshit excuses with you. I haven't been okay. I've been getting worse because the numbers kept going up and I needed them to go down. It's been two and a half days since I ate something and I don't think anyone's realized it. As long as no one finds out its okay. Would you like to hear more reasons as to why I'm a shitty person? Well, I left Alex. I haven't spoken to him in over a week and it's getting hard.
I'm down to 4.5 friends: Madi, Ella, Ashlyn, Jewel, and Daniel. The .5 is Daniel because he said for some reason his mom doesn't like me (I've never met her) and he doesn't want sit by me at lunch anymore. He'll still smile at me occasionally in the halls, but I know it's just because he's a nice person. Ashlyn...she just doesn't understand. When I told her I cut she told me to 'just stop if you wanna be happy.' I told her about Tate and she said to just move on. I asked her about her opinions on gays and she's against it. I love her, but she just is against almost everything I am. I guess it's just 3.
Parker was quiet like normal at the table today. Jake asked what was wrong, asking if he was sad, hungry, or tired. He said he was tired. I looked up at him and he looked back at me because we both knew what that meant. Madi keeps putting him down and it makes me feel like shit because I don't like seeing the people I care about in pain. I love Madi so much and I understand that he hurt her, but she really shouldn't be telling him to go kill himself.
-Casely
