Dear X,
I had a really good dream last night. I would tell you about it, but frankly I don't want anyone to know about it because I'll be judged. I'd rather just keep it to myself. This isn't the first dream like this I've had. No, it's not a wet dream. It's just a happy dream involving certain events that are repeated. I wish that said events could happen and I decided to see if it was maybe a possibility. Good choice, Casely. You're a fucking idiot. There's no way for these things to happen because you can't just change something like that. I would know, I've tried before. I don't like being this way. I just end up getting hurt. It's not like I chose to be this way, I'd stop it if I could.
Tonight there was a dance and Madi was with this cute boy so I decided to give them space. I tried to go hang out with the popular girls who were there but I couldn't. I tried, I promise I tried but there was so many people so many people way too many people not enough air and I couldn't breathe and they surrounded me; they were going to trample me I swear they were trying to kill me they were all headed after me and it was so fucking horrific. I can swear on my life that someone even touched me, they were so close. I couldn't help it, I ran out and found an empty room to cry in. I had to call my sister so she could calm me down. My parents don't know that this happens and that it's pretty frequent, but I'm sure I can get over it. I don't like people. I hate them. I don't want to go near them. Unless I know them. Then I love them and can't seem to get enough of them. It just depends if you scare me or not. I act pretty tough for someone who can pass for a sixth grader and will cry if you yell at me. But if you were to get in a fight with me for real, you could hit me all you want and I wouldn't falter because that'd be a sign of weakness.
I want to go home right now. I'm tired, it's been a long night, I miss my bed. I miss my dead dog. I miss sleeping with my sister during thunderstorms. I miss not wearing jackets all the time and eating whatever I want. I don't feel like writing any more.
-Casely
