Dear X,
When I was little
I wanted to be like my sister
So when I was 7
I drew red lines with crayons
On my wrists and stomach
Because maybe I'd be more like her
If it would make her happy
They faded in an hour
And I didn't understand
Why my sister yelled at me for it
And mom and dad never found out, they were too busy loving each other
When I was little
I wanted to be like my sister
So when I was 9
I drew red lines with pens
On my wrists and stomach
Because maybe she'd remember and explain
If she ever came back to see me
They faded in a day
And I didn't understand
Why my sister never wanted to see me
And mom and dad never found out, they were too busy ignoring each other
When I was little
I wanted to be like my sister
So when I was 11
I drew red lines with blades
On my wrists and stomachs
They never did fade completely
Because maybe that's how hers turned out
If she wanted the pain to end
And I didn't understand
Why she always flinched away from her boyfriend
And after mom and dad found out, they were too busy worrying about their lives to care
My sister didn't find out
But she got a better boyfriend
My parents never told anyone
But they made sure I knew
And now I'm 13
The red lines are dripping from my stomach
Crying on the same damn floor
Wanting to be happy like my sister
-Casely
