misery || b.e

get your girl

"did... billie mention anything about... seeing anyone?"

y/n hated how small her voice sounded, how hesitant the words felt as they left her lips. she was usually so careful — so good at keeping her feelings tucked away where no one could reach them. but this question had been clawing at her insides for days, demanding to be spoken aloud.

she sat across from joshua and claudia, their table tucked into the corner of a quiet cafe, the low hum of chatter around them making the moment feel strangely intimate. it was the first time they had all met up since filming had wrapped, the first time y/n had allowed herself to slow down and breathe. but even here, in the company of two of her closest friends, she felt like she was unraveling.

she hadn't told them about what happened at the gala. not about seeing billie with jesse. not about the suffocating weight of their awkward conversation. not about how she had barely held herself together until sabrina pulled her into that quiet bathroom, where she had finally broken down after holding it all in for so long.

she had kept it all to herself. until now.

joshua and claudia exchanged a glance, one that y/n couldn't quite decipher, and the pit in her stomach deepened.

claudia hesitated, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before finally shaking her head. "no... she didn't say anything."

that should have been a relief. it should have made the tension in y/n's chest ease, but instead, it did the opposite.

the tightness remained, pressing harder against her chest.

billie hadn't said anything.

not about the gala. not about jesse. not about her.

y/n forced herself to nod, pretending like that answer didn't make her stomach twist painfully. "oh," was all she managed to say, her fingers toying with the rim of her coffee cup, the warmth grounding her even as her mind spiraled.

billie hadn't mentioned seeing anyone. that didn't necessarily mean anything, right? maybe she was just keeping things private. or maybe — maybe there wasn't anything to mention. maybe what y/n had seen at the gala was nothing more than two people talking, laughing, existing in the same space.

then why did it hurt so much?

joshua, who had been silent up until now, finally leaned forward, his brows furrowing as he studied her. "why do you ask?"

y/n stiffened slightly, caught off guard by the question. she hadn't thought this far ahead — hadn't planned for a follow-up. she could lie, brush it off, pretend like she was just making conversation. but the weight in her chest, the exhaustion of pretending, made her pause.

she was so tired of acting like she wasn't falling apart.

so instead, she exhaled shakily and admitted, "i saw her at the gala."

joshua's expression softened instantly, his concern deepening. claudia remained quiet, but y/n could feel the shift in her posture, like she was bracing herself for whatever y/n was about to say next.

"i wasn't expecting to run into her," y/n continued, her voice quieter now. "and when i did... it wasn't what i thought it would be."

she swallowed, the memory of that night flashing in her mind — the way billie had looked at her, the way her own heart had betrayed her by hoping for something that was no longer hers to have.

"i saw her talking to jesse," y/n admitted, her voice barely above a whisper now. "and i— i don't even know why it got to me so much, but it did. it was like... seeing her with someone else made everything feel so much more real. like she's moving on, and i'm still... stuck."