misery || b.e

it was always you

billie.

y/n swore her heart stopped.

billie was standing right in front of her, real and solid and here — but it didn't feel real. it felt like some cruel trick, like her mind had finally given in to exhaustion and grief and conjured up exactly the person she had been trying so hard to forget.

but then billie shifted, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her hoodie, shoulders curling in slightly, like she wasn't sure she belonged here either.

she's real.

the thought sent a jolt through y/n's body, but she still couldn't move. couldn't breathe right. because if billie was real — if this wasn't just some figment of her imagination — then that meant this moment was actually happening. and she wasn't ready for that.

she wasn't ready for her.

"what are you doing here?" y/n's voice barely made it out, uneven and quieter than she wanted. she hated how small she sounded, how fragile.

billie hesitated. "i could ask you the same thing."

y/n let out a quiet scoff, shaking her head.

billie shifted on her feet, glancing out at the city below before looking back at y/n, her expression uncertain. "i—" she started, then stopped, like she had to force herself to say the words. "i was just... driving. and i ended up here."

y/n's stomach twisted.

liar.

billie hadn't ended up here. billie had come here. just like y/n had. because this wasn't just some random hill, wasn't just another quiet place to clear her head. this was theirs.

and maybe neither of them had wanted to admit it, but it still had a pull on them both. even now.

y/n swallowed hard, forcing herself to look at billie fully. the sight of her was overwhelming, like staring directly into the past — memories pressed into every detail. the familiar hoodie, slightly oversized. the way her fingers twitched like she wanted something to fidget with. the furrow in her brow, like she was bracing herself for something but didn't know what.

god, it hurt.

billie's eyes softened slightly as she studied y/n's face. "have you— have you been okay?"

y/n's breath hitched. she exhaled sharply, shaking her head. "don't ask me that."

billie blinked, looking almost startled. "why not?"

because it wasn't fair.

because the question felt like a knife, twisting deep. because y/n didn't know how to answer it, didn't know how to put into words what the past few months had done to her.

so instead, the words tumbled out, raw and unfiltered and broken—

"because i don't know how to answer it," she admitted, her voice cracking at the edges. "because i don't know if you actually want to hear it."

billie flinched like the words had struck her. her mouth parted slightly, but she didn't say anything.

y/n clenched her jaw, looking away, suddenly feeling exhausted all over again. "just... why are you here, billie?"

silence stretched between them, thick and heavy.

then softer, almost reluctant—

"because i saw your car."

y/n stilled.

billie exhaled, like she hated admitting it. "i was driving past. i saw your car. and i—" she hesitated, shaking her head. "i don't know."