misery || b.e

lesson

the seconds that followed felt like an eternity.

y/n stood there, bouquet in hand, her heart pounding so violently she was sure billie could hear it from the other side of the door. her breath came in shallow, uneven waves, every muscle in her body tense with anticipation.

the weight of her decision pressed down on her all at once. this was it. the moment she had been agonizing over for days. there was no turning back now. no running, no pretending she was fine, no convincing herself that she could just move on.

for so long, she had told herself that this was what billie wanted. that billie had made her choice and y/n had to respect it. but the truth was — she had never really accepted it. not fully. not when every part of her still ached for billie, still searched for her in every quiet moment, still felt that empty space beside her no matter how far she tried to run from it.

and now, here she was, standing at billie's front door, hoping — praying — that maybe, just maybe, there was still a space for her in billie's world.

she heard movement from inside.

a sharp inhale. footsteps.

her pulse spiked, and suddenly, she wasn't ready.

what if billie was angry? what if she didn't want to see her? what if this was a mistake?

the doorknob turned.

y/n's breath caught in her throat.

and then, the door opened.

billie.

y/n felt everything inside her go still, her breath catching somewhere between her lungs and her throat, like she had forgotten how to exist in this moment. god, she looked the same. and yet, somehow, not at all.

her hair was tousled, falling over her shoulders in soft waves, like she had been running her fingers through it absentmindedly. she wasn't dressed up — just a hoodie and sweats — but she still managed to look effortlessly beautiful in a way that made y/n's chest tighten painfully. the familiarity of it all was suffocating.

billie's eyes widened slightly, flickering over y/n like she couldn't quite process what she was seeing. like she wasn't sure if this was real.

y/n swallowed hard, gripping the bouquet tighter in her hands. her palms were damp, her fingers trembling against the delicate stems.

for a moment, neither of them said anything.

neither of them moved.

the air between them was thick with something unspoken, something heavy and aching. y/n wanted to say something, anything, but every single word she had rehearsed in her head disappeared the second she saw billie standing there, right in front of her, so close and yet impossibly far away.

billie blinked, her lips parting slightly, but no words came. her gaze flickered down to the flowers in y/n's hands before returning to her face, unreadable.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, she spoke.

"...y/n?"

y/n's stomach twisted at the way billie said her name. it wasn't soft, wasn't filled with warmth or relief. it was hesitant, cautious. like she didn't know if she was supposed to be happy or devastated to see her.

y/n forced a small, shaky smile, though it barely reached her eyes. "hey."

more silence.

billie's grip on the doorknob tightened slightly, knuckles paling. y/n noticed the way her chest rose and fell in an uneven breath, the way her lips pressed together, like she was searching for something — anything — to say.