Chris Schistad - Couldn't Ever

6

Friday 8:40 pm

We arrived at the party at 8 pm even tho it started at 7 pm. We all needed a little more time getting ready. I was wearing a red dress that showed skin on the side on my waist. It was actually Noora's and I bet she looked a hundred times better in it but it was still cute on me, I guess.

Well according to Chris who made a comment about it, it's 'fucking hot but I'd look better without it'. Talking about Schistad, he was staring at me the whole time. Not creepy at all but oh well.

I searched the kitchen and decided to get wasted today. I just wanted to let loose.

So here I was, drinking shot after shot, but it was fun. Especially the body shots. I always thought it was super cool that I was able to drink and drink and only got wasted after a lot. At least in my opinion.

While I swung my hips from side to side to the rhythm of the song, I felt someone staring again and I already knew who it was.

Funny thing is that he was making out with a girl and watching my every move. His eyes flicked to my hips and I made sure to tease him enough. I didn't care at this point.

He knew what I was doing and he rolled his eyes but instead of annoyance there was lust in his eyes. I loved that I made him feel this way.

I felt like there weren't a lot of people that found me interesting or attractive, because no one really talked to me. Not that I am insecure, I like the way I look, it's just that I think that this isn't what a lot of other guys think.

So the fact that I have such an impact on Chris, even just for a night, made me enjoy teasing him. And can you really blame me?

Friday, 9:35 pm

Chris was still flirting with me here and there all night. Sometimes he disappeared with a girl but I couldn't be bothered. I mean I loved the way he watched me but I had a lot of fun making out with that Robin guy again.

We were on the couch again but I was determined to go further than where we left two weeks ago. Who can blame me for wanting a simple hookup?

I moved my hips slowly back and forth on his lab, ignoring the fact that I was wearing a dress and there was not much fabric between us. When I moved to his neck and ear I heard him moan quietly. I could also feel against my hips that he liked what I did.

The problem was, we were interrupted by my phone once again.

The only thing that worried me was the fact that my mother was calling. She never called when I was at a party. I quickly apologized as I was running to a quiet bathroom and took the call. I just heard him yell „Don't fucking leave me here like this now". There was nothing I can do now tho.

"Hey mom, what's up? I'm at a party right now, I can't really call." I told her, in case she forgot. I really didn't want to leave this Robert guy— sorry Robin behind.

"Carla, I... I got bad news." She said. My heart shrunk. This was not good. I already forgot about Robin as soon as I heard these words.

"Susanna... She was feeling sick for the past few days..."

Oh no, no, no...

She was silent for a few seconds. "She now isn't hurting anymore." I heard sobs on the other end of the line. She wasn't healed.

I let my phone down. I— I've never felt so numb. I felt the tears sting in my eyes. I was shaking. The room must have cooled down by 20 degrees. It—It's over?

It can't be.

And then I started crying. Hard. Ugly sobs. The music was too loud for anyone to hear me anyway. I just sat there and cried.

After what felt like decades I washed my face. I felt numb. No tears left to cry.

That's when I decided that I don't even want to think about it. The physical numbness was good but my mind was racing, going back to her.

Every moment we lived together, every story she told me. Advice she gave me and my secrets that she kept. She was a true angel. Was I a bad niece for distancing myself?

I saw my face in the bathroom mirror and looked a mess. Red and swollen eyes and messed up makeup. I'm glad I had my stuff with me so I freshened it up and waited for my eyes to look the most normal possible.

I got out and drank. A lot.

Saturday 1:12 am

I didn't even understand how I got into this mess. I didn't even know how much alcohol I had. Everything that night was a blur. I just knew where I was right now.

I couldn't believe that this was actually happening. Who would have thought that I was ever going to have sex with Christopher Schistad? I have always expressed my hatred— or rather disgust towards him and talked so bad about this fuckboy and here I was: becoming one of his many hookups.

Fuck it.

It was a party and I was going to enjoy myself. Was there a better way to forget about everything? It was just a hookup, no strings attached. As long as I didn't walk around in his hoody like a trophy afterwards.

Because I knew she was right about keeping my pride and I promised her to.