Chris Schistad - Couldn't Ever

24

Friday, 10:20 pm

Julian wasn't really good. I was bored actually, when he thrusted in me. He moaned and pushed deep. It hurt more than felt good.

It was wrong of me to do this, but I wanted to have fun so... I imagined Chris. Yes, blame it on the alcohol, please. I closed my eyes and moaned quietly while he pushed inside of me again. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to make him kiss my neck.

I moaned because it hurt bad. He bit my bottom lip which slightly hurt as well.

I could hear him breath heavy and moan almost every time he pushed in. I felt him getting weaker: "I think I'm—" And then he moaned loudly as he came.

He collapsed and fell to the my side, breathing heavy. I think that was the worst sex I've ever had, oh my god.

I got up and put my clothes back on. "You're leaving?" He asked out of breath.

"Yes. This was very awkward, not gonna lie. Imma have another drink. But see you around." I said and left the room.

I drowned like four or five vodka shots after. This had been so bad. Made me almost ruin my night.

I wanted to get to the bathroom, but I was pulled in a room.

I met familiar lips that kissed way better than those I kissed before. Everything was spinning a little.

"You won." Chris whispered while breathing heavy, referring to our little game earlier. "Yeah well the price wasn't worth winning." I rolled my eyes and giggled.

"What do you mean? Did he do something?" Chris was now completely focused on me.

"Yeah no. We had sex." I said. Then I leaned in closer. "But you are soooo much better." He had a confused expression on his face. I started babbling.

"I've never had sex that was so bad. I wasn't even close to an orgasm, and I tried to imagine you but... it didn't work. Uh fuck, my head, fuck. Jesus."

"How much drinks have you had?" Chris looked both concerned and amused.

I exhaled annoyed. "You know I kinda find you very hot? I would definitely have sex with you." I laughed.

"Oh really?" He had to fight back a laugh. "Absolutely. And you know what else?" I leaned in closer to him, looking in his beautiful eyes.

"What?" He said with raised eyebrows.

"You wouldn't ever get enough from me after." I whispered and giggled. He smiled and nodded.

"Your face is so sexy, damn. And I hate-love those bruises. You know our word have? I think I have you. In every way possible." My head fell down against his chest.

"And your body is sexy. And your hands are sexy. And your tongue and your lips and your eyes. Oh my god yes your eyes. They are probably the most sexy. My favorite thing. And your lips. Well and your tongue and arms and—"

"Okay, okay." He laughed. He held my chin up to look me in the eyes.

"Nope it's definitely the eyes", I came to conclusion, staring. "I'd love to continue flirting but I have to pee and I also don't feel so good."

"Let me help you." He brushed my hair back and planted a quick kiss on my forehead before he slowly lead me to the bathroom.

He locked the door behind him. "This reminds me of when you spilled your drink on me just so you could sleep with me." I laughed. Well he succeeded.

I put my pants down and sat on the toilet, slowly falling to the side. He held me. "I didn't want to sleep with you." He said.

"Ouch." I held a hand on my heart for the dramatic effect, but actually: ouch. What was so wrong about me that the fuckboy doesn't even want to sleep with me? "No, that's not what I meant— I just didn't plan on sleeping with you when I spilled it."

Mhm.. I nodded. When I was done and washed my hands, Chris came up behind me and kissed the back of my neck gently. I stared at his reflection in the mirror. He was really perfect. Every part of him, and the way he kissed me sent sparks through my body.

I wondered if he had slept with another girl tonight. I mean that was none of my business but I was somehow curious.

"I have to—" Then I ran to the toilet throwing up. He kneeled down beside me and helped me with my hair. I gave him a hair tie and he tried to get it all in a ponytail.

"You can leave now, you know? Don't have to watch me throw up, I'm disgusting." I told him, hiding my face in my armes that rested on the toilet.

He steadied me with one arm over my shoulder. "I could never find you disgusting, Carla." Then he kissed the side of my head.

I started crying.

I can't pretend to not know what that feeling in my stomach was.

"Can you go find Eva for me? She's probably equally drunk but I really want to talk to her." I spoke between sobs. She was the one I could talk to about Chris. And also, I didn't need him next to me saying such sweet things. It only made things worse.

"Of course. I'll be back as soon as possible." Then he kissed my head again and left.

I didn't know if it was just the alcohol in me but I knew that I've started to hate him less and less and liked him more and more. But I couldn't ever be in a relationship with him. He was Christopher fucking Schistad. He didn't fall for a girl. It was only ever the other way around.

I didn't want to be like the others, I didn't want my heart broken because of some fuckboy who made it very clear from the beginning that he didn't want anything else than sex.

After a few minutes, Eva stumbled hectically in the bathroom. "There you are! Oh how are you?" She sat down next to me. "You look horrible."

I laughed. "I know. I—" I looked around and saw Chris looking down on me concerned. "I wanted to talk to you... in private?"

Chris looked between us and nodded. "I'm right outside the door if you need me."

As soon as he left, I told Eva everything and my sudden confusion about this weird feeling in my stomach.