Chris Schistad - Couldn't Ever

20

Wednesday, 5:04 pm

Where do I even begin? I started with our first 'conversation' at the party, where I called him a manwhore. I didn't leave a detail and told them everything. Everything.

"So you guys are like in a relationship but without every relationship thing and only the sex?" Chris asked. I shrugged and nodded afterwards.

I ate my sushi, since I couldn't eat when I was telling that story.

"And now you had a fight because..." Eva looked confused. "Because he agreed on just hooking up and then saw you talking to Robin?"

I slowly nodded at that as well. It didn't really make sense when they put it like that.

"So you don't feel anything for him? Other than the strong desire to sleep with him?" Sana grinned. "Yes..."

"I'm sorry but— it really seems like he has a crush on you." Vilde said and I was afraid they would start to list the reasons why like Noora did once.

"No, it's not like that." I didn't know if I tried to convince them or me. "Like for example yesterday. He didn't text me. At all. Not even when he got physically hurt like that.

And today he wouldn't even come to our table. It's just... It just feels so weird... He's confusing me" I put my hands on my face and shook my head. This was exhausting. If it was this stressful with him while not being together, I couldn't imagine how it would be if we were.

"You told him that you're not even his friend. Maybe he thought that you didn't care about him getting hurt." Noora said, then her phone vibrated. "It's William, will you excuse me for a second?"

"Sure." Chris said confused but Noora had already left.

"I think you guys should talk, really. Or at least have makeup sex like Berg and Kasper." Vilde said.

I laughed. "Well maybe I will. Let's see how it will turn out."

We continued eating until Noora came back stressed.

"What's wrong?" Vilde put a hand on the Nooras back.

"William said that the Penetrators that fought were Chris and Robin. None of them wanted to say why they almost killed each other, but now he knew it was them."

My mouth was hanging wide open in shock. Why would Chris or Robin do that? Weren't they friends when they were on the same bus? But yesterday—

I didn't want to make the wrong assumptions again so I decided to not let my head make up reasons for it. I didn't even know Chris. How would I be able to understand any of his actions?

Everyone had something to say and they looked at me but no one said anything thankfully. We just continued eating until Sana brought up a different topic and we talked about it instead.

Friday. 1:24 am

I couldn't sleep. The last two days felt really strange. Wednesday was amazing. The movie was very scary and we all held each others hand the entire movie. It was super sweet.

After I went home tho, I felt somehow uncomfortable, kind of numb, like I haven't said what I needed to and I know that was because of my situation with Chris.

I thought that I could talk to Chris Thursday but when I greeted him in the hallway, he walked away and just quietly said 'Hey' back. He wasn't coming to our table either.

When I was home I felt unproductive, useless. I was just scrolling through my instagram feed, and i didn't even really use it any other time.

It's now so late in the night and I can't turn my head off.

Hey... you probably don't want
to but can we talk?

I hit send and put my phone away, jerking up, when it suddenly vibrated.

Hot stuff
Sure. Meeting up after school?
Didn't you want to come over
to get ready for the party any
way?

He was still awake. Maybe he also couldn't sleep because we didn't clear things up? I also thought he didn't want me over anymore but.. I guess it's good that he's fine with it.

Yes, right. I guess I'll see you at
school then, right?

Hot stuff
Like always.

Hot stuff
Already excited to see what you'll
wear to the party ;)

I smiled at his text. Was I just interpreting too much in his behavior? He seemed quite normal over text and maybe he was just ignoring me because I basically asked him to.

Maybe you can help me choose.

Hot stuff
I actually don't care what you'll
wear, since you look hot in
everything and I will ripp off
your clothes anyway. But I'd
be glad to come over your house
or have you send me pictures ;)

Or maybe I'll just surprise you :)

Hot stuff
Sounds fun. Gotta go to sleep
now tho.

Hot stuff
Sleep well and have a hot dream
about me.

I will for sure ;)

Good night, Chris.

Hot stuff
Good night, Carla.

I closed the chat and hugged my phone tight. It was back to normal again. At least I hoped so.

Friday, 1:30 pm

I showed Noora the chat with Chris last night, since we were waiting for Chris and William anyway.

I already told the girls about the chat but I just showed Noora now.

"Seems like he's going back to his normal self, huh?" She asked, probably as confused as I was. "Why were you awake at that time anyways?" I'm glad she didn't ask about the name I saved.

"Couldn't sleep", I said. Why not tell her why, tho. We've become a lot closer since our girls-day on Wednesday. "I was worrying about all this Chris-drama. I— I don't know"

"Hey" William and Chris greeted us as usual. Chris hugged me this time tho and I felt relieved to be closer to him again.

"Did I just hear my name?", he asked smirking. Even with the bruises, he still looked perfect. "No. Well yes, but we were talking about the other Chris. You know, Chris Berg." Noora helped me.

"Alright." He said to her but turned to me again after.

"You look hot", he said biting his lips while checking me out. "You don't look too bad yourself." I said, trying to not sound curious about the wounds on his face.

He swung one arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards his car. I quickly waved to our friends.

"I'm fucking starving, Carla." He said. After he opened the passenger door and pushed me inside carefully, he got in on his side and started driving.

It was quiet the whole ride but it wasn't really awkward. It was rather peaceful.

When we got out, I went to go to his room and sat on the bed. Followed by him.