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Chapter 38 *Part 4*

"Uhmmm. I think I'm gonna go up to bed and take a nap. I'm pretty tired," I tell them and then hurry up the stairs before anyone can stop me.

I quickly find my room, get inside, and then close the door. I plop down on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

No, this can't be happening. I'm not supposed to feel this way about Niall. I can't. I'm supposed to love Harry. I mean, he's the father of my child.

Just as I'm contemplating this, Louis peeks his head through my door.

"Hey, mind if I come in," he asks politely.

"Nope. Come on in and join the party," I tell him. He comes in and sits down next to me on the bed. I can tell he's staring at me. Waiting for me to tell him.

"Alright, enough of this. What's wrong? And don't lie to me, you're not a good liar," he says impatiently. I sit up and face him, pushing my long hair behind my ears as I do.

"Well, I know that...I'm supposed to love Harry, but, while I was downstairs, I..." I let my voice trail off.

"For God's sake just tell me!"

I take a deep breath. "I saw Niall holding Brooke and...I felt something. I got butterflies in my stomach and..."

"So basically, you think you have a crush on Niall," Louis says bluntly. I nod my head. "Alli, you and Niall were very close. And, he's really sad that you don't remember all of it. But you love Harry," he tells me.

"I know. And I feel like crap knowing that I'm hurting him. I know he loves me but, I'm not sure if I love him back," I say.

Louis nods his head in understanding.

"I know you love him. It's just deep inside of you. One day, something's going to happen and you're going to feel this intense love for him again. I know it'll happen. You and Harry, you have this special connection. Your love has withstood a whole load of other things. You guys have come too far to give up now," he says, a single tear escaping one of his eyes.

I feel so incredibly bad even though it's not my fault. I can't help that I got in a car crash that nearly killed me and erased my memory and yet, why do I feel so horrible?

"I'm sorry Lou. You have no idea," I tell him. He smiles sadly at me.

"It's not your fault. Now, just remember, the boys and I are always here when you need us," he says, getting up.

"Thanks Lou."

He winks playfully at me. "Anytime, love."

He exits and then closes the door.

I snuggle up into the covers and quickly fall asleep.