The Way I Loved You

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter 37

My mother's face dropped. Suddenly her laughter wasn't visible on her face anymore.

"What?" My father questioned.

I felt Nate stiffen beside me, his jaw clenched on my peripheral vision. He hated this right now. Especially my mother.

I looked at her right in the eyes, I saw how confused she was. She was glaring at me, disappointed.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Me and Nate were never together mom." I quickly glanced at him, his eyes were now on me. My moms mouth were opening and closing, finding words to say.

"Wha-"

"We obviously liked each other at one point, but we never dated, nor did we sleep together—"

"Madisyn." Nate's voice low but warning.

"I know you like Nate, but we're just friends. Nothing more." I said. "And with me and Grayson, I'm sorry but that's none of your business. I'll tell you about it when I'm ready— when we're both ready. But for now, please stay out of it." I finished.

I was done with being silent about every comment my mother says. It's my life, and mine to say, mine to decide when to say.

I admit that I feel kind of bad that Nate had to hear everything I said, but he brought it upon himself when he accepted the invite from my parents. He expected me to go along with his facade, and he should've known better.

I stood from my chair, "I have to go." I say walking to my dad and giving him a peck on the cheek, "Love you, dad."

And with that, I left without a second more. I walked to the lobby when a hand pulled my arm.

"Madisyn!" Nate's voice travelled across the lobby. I was facing him now, his hand still holding on my arm while I pulled it away. "What the fuck is wrong with you-"

"What's wrong with me?" I cut him off. "Did you think that you could touch me and I would go along with your little play around my parents?" My eyebrows furrowed as I raise my voice.

"You didn't have to fucking humiliate me in front of them!" He argued. "And you," his finger pointed at me, "didn't have to mention Grayson's name, knowing that I was there beside you!"

I groan annoyed, throwing my head back before I said, "Look Nathaniel, I liked you! And I'm never going to deny that because I did— I really fucking did. But you-" My eyes were starting to water. "you gave me a reason to lose it all by being ignorant and an asshole!"

His eyebrows were furrowed, glaring his eyes at me. I could tell that he was really pissed with everything I was saying, but he needed to hear it— he needed to hear me.

He can't keep holding on to me anymore when there isn't anything to hold on.

I wasn't with him anymore, in the world where he thought we existed.

"I'm truly and utterly sorry, Nate." His eyes softened a bit, my voice was calm and exhausted. I wanted to talk to him, I was tired of shouting. I was so exhausted.

"I'm sorry I put you through this. I know that I messed up by sleeping with Grayson while I was entertaining you— I admit that, and its fucked on my part, and I understand that it angers you." I sigh, "But Nathaniel, you have to understand that nothing ever happened between us for you to keep this up until now. You can hate me all you want, but please, for the love of god— enough." I sigh.

I didn't know how else I was going to fix things with him. Nathaniel is an amazing guy, he's the idea of a golden boy, the idea that every girl would die to have. He was who I dreamt of growing up, but not now— not anymore.

I didn't wanna force myself into liking him enough for me to love him, I wish I could— but I can't. Not when Grayson exists. It's not fair for either of them.

The tips of his fingers touching mine, and gently grabbing both my hands. I let him, because I know that somewhere along the lines, he gave in.

I could see his eyes, it was full of pain.

I hurt him.

I'm sorry I hurt you Nate.

"Okay." he sighed, his eyebrows were still furrowed but not because of frustration, it was acceptance. "But you have to know Madi, that I never meant what I said about you in your place. I was hurt, and I never meant those words— I said it out of anger and frustration." He closed his eyes before he opened it again, "I'm so sorry."

All I felt was relief. I was just so relieved.

Everyone was starting to stare at us, obviously, considering we're in the middle of the lobby. Some were bringing their phones out, and others were just simply there, standing, and staring, eavesdropping.

I needed to go before any of this ends up on social media.

"You're charming, and— and endearing. And I also want you to know that I was never uncomfortable when I was with you, even if it was short between us." I softly smiled, assuring him. I took a moment, gently squeezed his hands, "I have to go now."

I dropped his hand. But as I was walking away, I had this urge to do something, to walk back to him. Impulsively, I kissed his cheek, my thumb grazing his cheek, "Take care of yourself?"

It wasn't a question. I was just convincing him to do so.

He nodded, and I walked away.

I was on the way back to my dorm when I had the sudden urge to get a drink. My god, after this night? It's valid and reasonable for me to get a shot. I know that I'm underage, but who gives a flying fuck.

To the place I'm going to, it won't really matter.