Eleanor left around 1 o'clock. I did mean to go to work today after they left but I didn't feel very good. Not just physically...I wish she hadn't left. Especially with you-know-who. It's not fair. I know I'm just being petty and probably selfish but I can't help it. Fine. Maybe I am jealous. Ugh. Can you blame me? I couldn't make myself say any of that though. Especially not now. She kept on talking about how much fun it was going to be and I couldn't just say "I don't want you to go with Livi I want you to stay with me." I kept telling them I'd be fine on my own and I will. Really. Just fine. It's not like I want to kill myself. But it's not like I'd complain too much if an asteroid suddenly struck the house and killed me either. But I'm being selfish. Because Eleanor loves me and not Livi and Eleanor is perfect and she'll be back in a couple weeks and I'll move in with her and I basically have everything I ever wanted right? So. I should be happy. Right?
