I told Eleanor I'm coming tomorrow to come get them.
I asked Will first if he could poof her home but he said no because he doesn't want his kids more mad at him and I don't blame him.
So yeah, I'll be flying out to Boston tomorrow. Will offered to pay for the plane tickets but I told him no. I mean I do have some money from the infirmary but not that much, but I feel guilty letting him pay for things or do me favors. I know he's happy to, but...I dunno. Letting me stay at his house the past few days was really pushing it. I mean, he did pay in full for my recovery in two different hospitals. Besides, that's Nico's money too and I'm taking zero favors from him whether voluntary or not.
Speaking of Nico, I've been thinking again recently about him. Like, back in February we were almost friends, I think.
He gave me advice about Eleanor, and after we broke up the first time he asked if I was okay, and when I said I wasn't he asked if I wanted to come over, even though he knew Will was mad at me.
He even hugged me.
So I know he can't completely hate me
Right?
I did wonder if he might object to me staying over the last few days but I guess he's also too sick to care.
But what happened?
I guess where we went wrong was that he blamed me for Livi.
It's not fair. It's not my fault Livi isn't a good girlfriend and Eleanor picked me instead.
It isn't my fault I fell in love with her.
It isn't my fault for wanting to be happy.
Right?
Because I deserve to be happy too.
Right?
I might've sort of snapped at Nico.
I didn't say half the things I wanted to.
Why can't he understand
Why can't they all understand
The hell I went through
Or maybe I'm just making it all up
This is all Livi's fault
All of it
Why does she have to be so selfish
I just keep feeling more and more guilty
And loving Eleanor more and more
Gods
Why does the universe hate me
