Nightmares again. The usual. I don't feel the need to describe them. They are just another thing I can't control. sometimes when I am at my lowest I imagine the people I hate going through those things instead of me. It makes me feel a little bit better. I should probably not tell Amber about that or I'll get a lecture on forgiving people who have wronged me or something like that. I don't forgive people like that anymore. All it does it get me hurt all over again. I'm done with that. Done with being pushed around.
Fears:
What if I lose Eleanor
What if Will gives up again
What if something happens to my family back home
By staying far away, I'm protecting them. But not from everything. Something could always happen.
What if winter comes and I can't stop myself from going under this time
What if I'm not strong enough this time around
