When I was younger, I used to scratch or pinch my skin sometimes, whenever I made a mistake, if I did or said something stupid. It never occurred to me that it was a form of self-harm, since it only hurt for a short time and didn't leave permanent marks. I guess what I'm saying is it's like a metaphor for kindness. Like, sometimes you don't realize the impact you might have on someone. It's easy to cause harm to someone emotionally without realizing it. It's easy to assume they can just forget about it and move on as easily as you can. And I think that's kind of sad. Maybe you hurt someone years ago and they still carry that grudge around with them. I know I'm not the most forgiving person either. There are more than a few people I hold grudges against. But I like to think I've given all of those people at least a few chances. Enough for me to know that some people are just not going to like you no matter what you do, and you really just have to be okay with that or else you're going to be miserable forever.
Eleanor and I are going back to Toronto for Christmas. I know what happened last time we were there. Nothing like that's going to happen again. We're going to have a normal Christmas (or as normal as it can be.) That's all for now.
