Things are bad, to put it simply. Eleanor is really the only thing that makes it better. I know we're supposed to take a break, but that's just the last thing I want when I feel like this. It's not the worst it's ever been. Well, in some ways it is, but not in others. The bad thoughts won't stop and I can't stop worrying about every single thing I eat and even when I stop worrying for a little bit, I worry about it afterward and it's this endless cycle. I hate it. I hate talking about it. I wish I never had to eat so I never had to worry about any of it. And not to mention I've relapsed twice this week. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why therapy isn't helping, why nothing is working. I hate feeling like this, but even more, I hate making Eleanor worry.
