a sheep in wolf's clothing// remus

this is me trying

//tw brief mentions of statutory rape and attempted rape (not graphic)

Harry & Adeline's birthdays soon passed and before they knew it, they were back at Hogwarts.

Adeline had swallowed her pride after about a week and had asked Dumbledore if she could use his floo network once a week. Surprisingly, he agreed. No questions asked. So Adeline went to his office each Saturday, and traveled back to London.

************

"So Adeline, why are you here today?"

"Well for starters, I've been having more frequent panic attacks lately."

"Have you been able to identify the triggers?"

"Yes."

"What are some of them?"

"Apparation. I hate it. Yet everyone keeps making me do it."

"And why do you hate it?"

"I apparated myself once. It was a life or death situation, I was bleeding out and I just tried it. Zero training. I'd never been so scared. I lost my leg in the process."

"I see. And the people in your life don't accept your trauma?"

"I don't know if I'd call it trauma."

"It was a traumatic experience, Adeline. That makes it trauma."

"Okay, then yes and no. Nobody has ever pressured me to learn how to apparate myself, they respect that I don't want to. But they all expect me to trust them because they know what they're doing. They don't get that I'm not necessarily scared of getting splinched again- I just hate the memories it brings up."

"Do they ever force you into apparation?"

"Yes. They'll just grab my arm and do it. I throw up everytime. They all think it's just typical apparation vomit, but it isn't. I don't feel sick from the process- I'm sick from the memories."

"Do you think it could be helpful to create some healthy boundaries?"

"What do you mean?"

"If these people in your life are forcing you into something that makes you uncomfortable, you should think about trying to set boundaries. Or cut them off."

"They're all my superiors. I don't have the authority to create boundaries."

"Then do you think it's an abuse of power?"

"Yes."

"I see. So is apparation the only thing causing your panic attacks?"

"No there was something else recently."

"What was that?"

"Well. Let me start from the beginning. So Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes were my best friends, and then they were killed. I had already considered James Potter my 'guy best friend' but he quickly became my overall best friend along with his wife Lily. Then they were killed. So I got closer to Sirius Black who I'd been through it all with. Then he was killed. Over a month ago, my friend Mary told me I was her best friend. And I just couldn't breathe. Full blown panic."