Soft Boy ✔️

THE SOFT BOY

THE SOFT BOY

I could still remember the very first time I realized that I loved my parents with all of my heart.

I was probably 8 or 9 years old, I was a kid. I knew that they loved me, I was optimistic, I really was.

Bata lang ako. Wala akong alam sa nangyayari.

Kahit na may malaman man ako, my brother would take that thought and realization away from me, and so I remained naive and oblivious.

But I used to wonder why is it that my older brother is always taking care of me inside my room?

It was either him or our main maid, Rowena.

Alexander would tell me that everything is alright, that I will be okay, that our parents love me and that only fed my optimistic mind set.

"Ares... everything... is... okay... repeat after me." he smiled and held my hand.

And just like that, I repeated after him.

That everything is okay.

When I started getting a bit more older, I started feeling differently about myself. Sa una, akala ko normal lang yo'n dahil wala namang perpekto sa buhay, yun ang sabi sa'kin ng kapatid ko, yun ang sabi sa'kin ni Rowena and even my tutor.

I went to the school and people started teasing me.

Teasing me for what?

For the color of my bag, color of my shoes, my blonde hair, my blue eyes, and for my love of pink.

They teased me for everything that I am and what I like.

I told myself to be stronger, and that I am more than that. I am a Cardoza and I'm proud to be one.

And besides, my mom would tell us to not taint our family name and I made sure that I would not be doing anything for that to happen.

I love my mom.

I love my dad.

I would do anything for them.

I would.

I really would.

Pero, 'di ko alam, parang namulat yung mata ko sa mga bagay bagay.

It was night.

I woke up because I needed some water at akala ko ayos lang kung ako na lang ang kukuha ng sarili kong tubig kaysa utusan pa si Rowena o yung iba pa na'ming mga kasambahay sa mansion.

And usually when I have my birthday the next day, 'di ako nakakatulog.

It just happens, I have no idea why.

And as I walked to the hallway, I heard voices in the living room.

It didn't took me minutes to find out that it was my parents' voices.

Yun nga lang 'di normal ang tono ng mga boses nila, parang may galit, may sigaw din sa boses nila.

Curiosity kills the cat, is what they say.

Bumaba ako at pinakinggan ang pinaguusapan nila, and I really wished that I didn't.

"Have you lost your fucking mind? Have you lost it?"

It was my mother's voice and surprised me to listen to her voice this way.

"Alexander needs to stay here in Manila, he will study in NEO soon--"