I wake up next to Eleanor and immediately feel happy because I slept the whole night through without waking up screaming from nightmares or waking up my whole cabin.
We probably stay like that for a while and I savor that feeling of summer mornings like these, when everything just feels peaceful and right in the world.
Eventually we get up, shower, make breakfast, do chores—all the normal stuff and after that I leave to go to camp. I work in the infirmary with Will and Vie and maybe get in some target practice after that. Not that I need the practice but regardless it's still something I like to do. Something I'm good at. (I kind of miss teaching classes. I stopped around Christmas time, when the self-harming was getting really bad and I'm sure now someone else is teaching. They're probably doing it all wrong. Ugh.)
When I get home, we make dinner or we go somewhere. It doesn't matter to me. Maybe we'd watch a movie or just talk. And later we'd probably make out in the bedroom. And then we'd fall asleep. And everything would be perfect and peaceful and right in the world.
That's what I'm holding onto. That's how it will be someday. I have to believe everything will be okay.
