S u r v i v o r s [ Daryl Dixon ]

Chapter 31

Michonne was with Carl in the car. Daryl was talking to Rick nearby while I was on watch. I didn't sleep an hour that night and I wasn't even sleepy. I was... empty.

I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't look back. I kept my eyes on the road. Daryl was right next to me when I felt his touch on my forehead. I flinched and he took his hand away. I saw the pain in his eyes, I couldn't control it. It was stronger than I thought. That night... was something I never expected.

"Sorry..." he whispered. "You still have some blood in there" he pointed his finger at my temple

I quickly wiped the spot.

"Hey" he continued very quietly. "I'll help you. Can I?"

I nodded for a moment and stood in front of him. I watched as he lightly soaked a piece of cloth and slowly moved my hair away to wipe the dirty spot. He was focused, but I could also see how his eyes seemed to hide as much as I did.

"I didn't know what they were" he whispered and I nodded in understanding.

"You couldn't have known" it was all I said, then looked at Rick. "How's Carl?"

"Shocked, but he's a tough kid" Daryl said and pulled back slightly.

I nodded and adjusted my hair as I looked at the road again. There was silence for a moment.

"And how you feel?" Daryl asked.

I shrugged. "And how can I feel?" I said firmly. "Whether then or now, not much has changed. The bastards always think their dicks are the sanctity we dream of."

"Is that why you lied to us then?" Daryl asked.

I looked at him and stared into his eyes for a moment. I may have felt empty, but it was warmed by the way he looked at me.

"There was nothing to say" I retorted. "I didn't want to worry you, especially Glenn. I'd rather tell you a lighter version than that I killed four men. Five counting the one with no balls because he sure bled out."

"You had no choice."

"I had" I looked at Daryl. "There's always a choice, but this was the only one I could accept. I could fight or give up, and I had to go back. To Glenn, to Carol, to.. you. So I fought. I had to come back to you. So I used what fate gave me. A horny guy, his knife and a loaded gun. I used everything."

I looked at him carefully, forced a slight smile. I reached up to his face and lightly stroked the bruise under his eye.

"I missed you, Dixon. And I was really worried, you know."

Daryl kept his eyes on my face. He seemed to want to say something, but backed out. He just nodded.

"It's time for us to find the rest" I finally said and was about to move towards Rick who was still sitting by the car, when Daryl grabbed my hand to stop me. I looked at him, raising my eyebrows, asking him a silent question.

"I thought I'd never see you again" he said finally. "It was just like the farm. I only let you go for a moment and you disappeared."

I smiled, but this time it came naturally.

"Then don't let me go without you anymore. It's for the best" I whispered.

~*~

We finally got there. We took each of the weapons and buried the rest behind the fence.

Rick, Michone, and Carl went a little ahead, and when I wanted to follow them, Daryl lightly grabbed my arm.

"Right next to me" he whispered softly and I looked at him carefully. I lifted one corner of my mouth.