Dirty Little Heart

Cuts.

As much as I wanted to deny the fact that Clara got on my nerves, I couldn't, because she did. Her not meaning shit to me and whatever she'll do won't affect me. I was more scared at the thought of losing Jonathan.

It's possible that Jonathan would be affected even if Ethan wasn't. Despite my presentation as someone who doesn't care much, I actually cared about both of them. I may not present myself as a caring person. But to tell you the truth, I cared about both of them equally. And that put me in a difficult situation.

I was just standing outside Jonathan's Office trying to get in, but I stopped. I couldn't bare to face him like this, lying to his face.

I shook my head, and I almost turned back to get out of there when Jonathan opens the door instantly, startling me.

"Woah, I knew I saw a reflection."

"Jonathan, you scared me."

"Umm, sorry?" He smiles and gives me a sign to ask what I was doing here.

"Were you... eavesdropping on me?" He asks.

"Why would I eavesdrop on you?"

"To make sure if I wasn't there with another woman apart from you."

Why? Why when you're stuck in a situation and wanting to ignore it just for a little while, it comes back fucking you from behind? It sucks.

"Even if you were, I wouldn't mind."

"Oh, really?"

Yes, I would rip that bitch off if I see her near you. I get your point. I'll come clean. Just give me some time to fix on one guy.

"We'll see about that. What're you doing here, though?"

"I... uh..." I muttered. I couldn't know if it was the right time to ask him or not. So I went with my gut.

"I wanted to ask you something," I say.

"Sure. Is it related to the upcoming project?"

"No" I grab his arm and lead Jonathan inside his office, locking the door behind me.

He looks at me confused and leaned onto his table, crossing both his arms together and waiting for me to give him a valid explanation.

"I need some information," I say.

"Information about?"

"Ethan Cooper."

Jonathan's eyes go wider. I was actually expecting that reaction, but this one was more than that. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"Well, you wouldn't be the first one to ask about him so, What do you want to know."

"Everything." I got overexcited giving him the wrong intuitions.

"Uh.. I mean.. Look. I know he's my boss and everything but. I just want to know about him for safety reasons. Come on, I work very close to him and there wasn't any background available on the internet so. Can you help me?"

He locked his lips tight, trying to figure out if I was telling the truth or not. After a moment or so, he finally speaks.

"Alright. Look, there isn't much on him and I'm sorry, but I genuinely don't know a lot. Ethan and I sure are close, but he always kept his... well...' secrets' to himself. He a quiet, lone-wolf kind of guy."

"That's it?" I ask.

"I think so. Yeah, I told you, Angelica, he doesn't share much. If you want to get close to him that much? Read him like a book, not an open one but a closed one. Start from the cover, and look deep into it. If you know what the picture on the front page signifies, you're already in."

Okay, that's a hard task. How could I possibly read him? And like.. this? He totally shut me off last night after that whole scenario. If Ethan is what Jonathan's describing him to be, that makes it thousand times harder on me.

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head after realising I went into deep thinking.

"Ye.. Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be of that much help."

"Oh, no that's not...."

Before I could answer him again, I get a text. It was from Natalia.

"Angie. Please. Just give me one more chance. I... I'll tell you everything."

And then a photo pops up. It was of her arm, filled with blood and cuts. And then of herself crying like hell with her eyes all red.

"What the fuck, Nat."

"Is everything okay?" Jonathan asked, shocked and serious.

"Nat cut her arms." I pack my stuff and get ready to go back to her.

"What?"

"I gotta go. Can you please cover for me?" I ask Jonathan.

"I can come with you. You shouldn't be going alone."

"No.. No, it's fine. Just please cover for me."

He was a little tensed but Jonathan eventually agreed. I slipped out of his office and went to the parking lot to get into my car and drive away. All the back to my old place, I was constantly texting Nat. She wasn't replying now.

"What the hell you have gotten yourself into, Nat?"

I tried calling her, but there was no answer. I raced by car at a higher speed, wanting to be there on time. Sure, I was angry at her, but I never hated her like that. I just needed time. This was fucking psychopathic behaviour, even for me.

I reach Nat's place and I run towards the door. It was locked. I looked around the house and tried watching through the window, which was slightly accessible as the curtain covered most of the living area.

I see a glimpse of her, I could see Nat's feet from behind the couch.

"NAT...NAT...WAKE UP!"

Looking around, I try to think of a way to get inside. I had no keys because I gave them back to her. Suddenly, I remembered. I run towards the garden and slide the pot with red roses to see if the key was beneath it like Nat always placed it, and it was.

"Did you plan this, Nat? If you did, you're dead!"

Suddenly, it started to rain and I run back to the door, unlocked it and stormed inside. I move across the couch and see a lot of blood on her. She fucking had cuts on most of her left arm.

"Natalia!!"

I sat down right beside her to check if she was breathing, and she barely was.

"Just wait... I'm going to call an ambulance, okay?"

As I was dialling the number, Nat barely got her consciousness back.

"Hey... hey.. Don't worry, I'm here. Just rest and don't move, okay?"

She grabbed the collar of my shirt and forced me to lean onto her. As my ears were close to her lips, she whispered.

"I'm sorry."