Dirty Little Heart

Baby Steps.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" I ask Nat while I pass her a glass of juice and drink my own.

"I'm going to be fine, Angie. Don't worry."

"Call me if something goes sideways, okay? No matter where I'll come back."

"Got it, Mom, Now go, earn and spend all your money on me."

"Sure, Ms universe."

I walk back to my room to get changed and freshen up for work. Suddenly my eyes fall on the drawer in which I kept Nat's journal. I should probably place it back to where it was. The least I want to do is cause another fight between us.

--Beep beep--

Greetings.

You have an appointment with Doctor Herbert at 4:30 AM.

We hope only well for you and your loved ones.

Have a good day.

Finally, I got an appointment with the doc. I had to ask about Nat's unusual behaviour. There might be something I could do to make it better.

Before I went downstairs, I grabbed the journal and carefully went into Nat's room and placed it where I took it from. Suddenly I heard her coming back to her room, and I quickly got out and pretended that I was coming out from mine.

"Hey.. You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I was just feeling a little dizzy. I guess I got a head rush."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"I'm sure, Angelica. Just go, you haven't worked in days."

"That's not... Okay, that's true."

I walk past her and talk to her like I haven't violated our friendship.

"See you soon, Nat."

"You too."

And I get into my car, driving away to Cooper Inc. once again. It felt a little weird coming here after 3 days. It felt like months has passed. While I was walking down the hall, I see Clara talking to her colleague/friend or something. She gave me a demon eyes smirk, telling me she was still onto me.

I ignored her baffling expressions and set the path to my office. Before I reach there, I cross Jonathan's. There were voices coming out from there, like he was still stuck between data tracking or something. So I thought I'll talk to him later.

Settling down in my office, I see Mai going across the hall smiling at me, which was actually weird because she never does that. And I figured she came out of Ethan's office.

Shaking my head, I look at the files placed on my desk. Those were a lot of work. As I was going through them, I see two of them needed Ethan's signatures. Okay, this had gotta be a movie. Every time I think of not facing someone I don't want to face, shit goes sideways,

Rolling my eyes, I try figuring out if I should go in there or not. After a lot of thinking, I knew I had to. I can't mess up my work any more.

"Let's just get this over with, Alright, Ms May?" I say to myself as I walk towards his office.

Right after I open the door, I see some men talking to Ethan, whom I've never seen before. They having some kind of meeting. I stood there by the door, watching them carefully as they all do the same. My eyes suddenly catch Ethan's in the small crowd, who's addressing me slowly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'll be back later." I say.

Before I could turn away, all the men stands up and processed to leave the office instead of me, leaving me confused there.

"Wh... What just happened?" I turned to Ethan.

"They know what my priorities are, Ms May."

At first, I thought he was talking about me, but I instantly shook my head because that would never happen. I give Ethan a weak smile and looked down on the floor in embarrassment.

Already defeated, I move towards his desk, placing the files.

"These files need your signatures," I say, still avoiding eye contact.

"Consider it done. I'll send them to your office straight." His voice is deep but sensual.

I nod and turn to walk away, but then he stops me...

"Don't feel low by my answer, Ms May. You know, by priorities, I mean you."

My heart pounds so loud and fast that my whole body was feeling it. I turned, facing my body to his, and again he gives me that flirty, coy look. He gets up from his chair, and set a path in my direction, grabbing my hair from my lower neck portion so my lips could be on the same level as his.

He says in a growling and deep voice, gazing deep into my eyes.

"You're always going to be my priority. No matter what happens. You do something to me when you look at me, Ms May. That makes me nervous and the need to fuck you hard at the same time."

"Every conversation we have ignites a desire within me to please you in a way that surpasses any previous experience. I hunger to taste your juices, feel them glide down my throat and grasp your neck. This is my daily ambition."

"No matter how bad you push me away, I'll pull myself back into you every single time, deep. Get this statement in your mind, exaggerating two situations. One in relationship wise, one having raw sex with you."

WHAT THE FUCK! I felt like my fucking water just broke. I could feel myself dripping already. And only by hearing his words?

Suddenly, Ethan loses his grip on my hair, taking a step back.

"Why did you move away?" I ask.

"Because that's what you want me to do. I don't want to touch you, feel you, or get involved in your life without your consent, Ms May."

"But I want you to get involved."

"I can't. Not in the way you want."

I realized where this conversation was going.

"You mean you can't share your emotions or whatever you have gone through before? Your past, present?"

Ethan stood still. At that moment I felt this energy that he wanted to tell me all about it, but he couldn't Like his own dark self was asking him, forcing him not to.

Not pressurizing him, I walk up to him, closed the gap between us and cupped his face.

"I don't want to push you away, Ethan. But I can't move forward like this. I had enough terrible experiences with every guy I met, even though I knew all about them. And I don't know even 1% of you."

I leaned in and kissed him passionately, giving him the warmth he may crave before and even now. I only wanted to last it a few seconds, and it did. Finally, I say.

"Why don't we try?"

"Try what?"

"Baby steps."