Dirty Little Heart

Angel.

 I drove back home and found Ethan working on some papers.

"You're back," he says, but his eyes were fixed on the files. "I thought girls' day out would take you 50 years to come back."

"It wasn't a girls' day out, Ethan." I say as I walked behind him and held him close in my arms.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"I went to see Natalia."

Ethan instantly stopped everything he was doing and spun his body towards me.

"What the hell are you talking about? And you're telling me this just now?!" He says in a growling manner.

"Baby, I know that I never told you about this. I should have. But I knew always in my heart how you would react if I asked you."

"Yes, because you and I are well aware of what she did, Anna. How long has this been going on?"

"I don't want to meet her Daily, Ethan." I say in a simple tone and walked over to him. I held Ethan's hand tightly in mine.

"I know it's a girl, Ethan. I know." I say, smiling at him.

"You checked the fi-"

"Nat told me."

"How did she know?"

"She actually didn't, she did trick me though. At first, she only said that I was having a girl. When I asked her how she knew about this, Nat said she was just fooling around and If I really wanted to know, just call the doctor and ask."

"I can tell you and fucked her up after that, but...I eventually called Dr Bruno and he told me."

"Wow, I can't say I'm happy about this but, at least we both know who our baby is."

"I'm so happy, Ethan. I mean, having a baby is scary as hell. All the responsibility, all the care. At first, I didn't think that I could do all of that. And I hated the fact how my parents treated me. I guess I want my daughter to know that I'm not that type of person. I'm more than that."

"You'll be a splendid mother, I know," Ethan says as he kisses my forehead.

"But you're gonna have to stop lying, Mrs Cooper. I can't lose the baby."

I laugh and looked straight into his eyes.

"So you're ready to lose me?" there was still a curve on my lip and I was waiting patiently for Ethan's answer.

And he doesn't say anything.

"You're dead meat," I say and I kick him in the balls softly but also in a dominating manner. I was actually taking advantage of the fact that he can't punish me for the next 3 months.

"Ouuffff," he whimpered.

"That'll teach you to mess with me," I say, smiling.

"Don't worry, Mrs Cooper. Pump that baby out and I'll pump into you. Another one."

"We'll see." I walk away, but he stops me.

"Anna? Your 'father' came in today."

I face Ethan, and he points toward the kitchen counter.

"He...left a note and some clothing. Apparently, they belonged to your mother." I walked towards the kitchen and listened to what he wanted to say.

"He said that he's going far away and..well, he's sorry for everything. He wanted to give you all of this before, but the tension in the room was growing louder and, well, he knew you were pregnant."

"What's in the envelope?" I ask, picking up the piece of paper. Ethan stays silent. He couldn't bear me facing more problems again. Ethan wanted me to stay away from all this depression now that I was pregnant. But the insect inside me made me do the opposite.

"It's a letter from your mother." Ethan was repulsed by my carelessness, but he couldn't do much for now. It was my choice.

"Look, Anna. Just rest. You can open this up later."

"No, I'm fine. Let's see what she had to say about abandoning me."

Before Ethan could respond, I open the letter and took out the pieces of pages. I open them up and straighten them out as Ethan walks towards me and sat right beside me.

"Here goes."

I read the first letters and..

Angel.

I always called you. My angel came to me like a ray of sunshine. Every time you smiled, laughed and showed your small baby toddler's teeth, it made my heart melt.

if you're reading this letter, that means I'm long gone and I know you must have questions you need answering too.

Your father had nothing to do with your abandoning, Anna. He's just taking the blame on himself because he didn't want anyone to throw garbage in my name. I know that's what he'll be doing now, taking the blame.

The reason that I abandoned you was because my parents had always sold me to a strip club. Since the start, when I was only 14, I worked there. I heard nothing from them. There I did work, but I never paid attention to any man if it were against my consent.

I had no type of education. So the club's manager made me sign these papers I didn't know of and never even question where it was said that any future generation with my blood would be given and legally 'meant' to work with them.

And I signed it not knowing what it was. Clubs at my time did these to secure the positions of strippers in their clubs. There I met your real father. He was one of the lawyers.

When he first saw me, I was already forced to marry the one who abused you and me both. I thought I was leaving you with, technically not a father, but someone who would at least let you live. But I guess I was wrong.

I need you to know there wasn't a single second where I didn't spare finding you. But I failed each time when I realised you ran away. I never stopped then, too. But the stripping days were over for me good. There was a raid in the clubs where the police took everyone captive, including me as well.

all this time I was in prison where the clot inside my brain took over.

Angel, I know, I could have given you so much and you deserved none of that. I can't take back the time when I was forced to live a life I never wanted, but if I could, I would fight even a single person off and take you away.

I wasn't strong enough.

But you, my baby, gave me Hope. When I heard what they were doing to you, I searched and nearly reached where your father used to drink. Before I could enter, I woke up in a hospital bed, receiving the news about my condition. It was too late.

I can't bring back the time we both needed, but I'm sure you're living a far better life with someone you love. And know that, Angel, I'll always look after you, even if I'm dead.

You'll always be my sunshine, Anna.

Love

Teressa.

I place the letter on the table and took a deep breath while Ethan holds me closer to him.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Angel, Ethan."

"What?"

"Let's name our daughter, Angel."