Dirty Little Heart

Gender Reveal.

--4 months later--

"Well, the good sign is the baby is safe and sound. Everything is A-okay," said Doctor Bruno.

"Oh, I...I can't believe how happy I am to hear this, Doc." I say.

"I know you must be feeling overwhelmed. It's good. But you should keep a good diet. I would recommend some procedures in case of cramps, and if you need anything else later in the future, please, feel free to contact me anytime."

"Thank you doc, we appreciate it," I say, and Ethan helps me get up.

"Ahem, Uh....Don't you want to know the gender of the baby?"

"You can tell this soon?" I ask Doc and look straight towards Ethan. He gave me a confused and excited look. Ethan wanted to know if the baby was a girl or a boy. He just wanted to be prepared for anyone.

"I..I don't think we should." I say, and Ethan gives me a cranky look as if he were a child himself.

"It's alright. Many parents decide not to know the gender of the baby until the day of the delivery. It sure is a gift from god. And I've seen it go excellently marvellous for some guardians."

"Well, if you do want to know, the gender is in these files. If you wish to look at it, you can. If you don't, you can just leave the file here." He smiles at both of us. And that damn smile made me know what gender was the baby.

"Call me if you need anything. Please, excuse me," Dr Bruno says and walks away.

"Ethan."

"The gender of the baby, Anna. Don't you want to know? How lovely it could be for each of us if we knew before time. We can do all the preparation for it. Anything he or she needs will be there before they ask."

I scoff and turn my head away. This type of manner confused me. I didn't know if I really wanted to know what the baby's gender was. But, at the same time, I was dying to know.

"Okay, I know you want to know, so look. But I don't think I'm ready to know who he or she is. I mean, ugh, you know what I mean." Ethan's eyes are filled with bright light as he picks up the file.

He sees through pages and covers his mouth from screaming.

"Ethan?" I say as I look at him, who's now weeping as a baby.

"Hey, I can't handle two babies at the same time, you-"

Before I could finish, he walked up to me and held me close in his arms. He was sad, thrilled to find out what the future holds for us.

" You okay, baby?"

"You have no idea, Anna. No idea." Ethan holds my hands closer and kisses them, warming them for me.

"It's going to be so much great, so so so much."

"We'll do everything for them. Buy clothes beforehand, toys, little soft shoes and socks. I can even be Santa for them."

"Haha, really? You've never been Santa for me."

"Bump the baby out, then I'll show you what Santa can do."

He leans in on me, forehead to forehead.

"I love you so much, Anna. So much."

"I love you p, Ethan. Not more than our baby, though."

He laughs, and we got out of the doctor's office. After a few healthy shakes and total cat fighting with Ethan for no reason, we go to a place that I needed to visit.

After a few hours, I set a path to meet Natalia for the last time. She was about to be an aunt, she deserved to know.

The security for me this time was higher. Because I was pregnant and Ethan still didn't trust Natalia, he paid them extra for 2 bodyguards as well,

"How many weeks?" She asks.

"11-12 maybe. I honestly lose count. It happens so fast I feel like a football pumping air in herself."

"Don't be ridiculous, Anna. You look lovely. Fatness looks lovely on you,"

"I'll seriously kill you right now."

We giggle a little and the room goes silent for a few seconds.

"I hear you're going to go away."

"Hawaii, for now. Later, we really don't know where the road takes us."

"Who's going to look after Ethan's business?"

"Oh, he's got this big planning for it he doesn't wants me to know just yet,"

"Must be big. What about Jonathan?"

I go silent because Jonathan was long gone now.

"He moved away right after I gave him my....message. Just vanished. I tried getting in touch with him but there was never a reply back,"

"He didn't take it well?"

"I...don't think so."

"You did what you thought was the right thing to do, Anna. It's not your fault."

"Right, and lie about the fact that I completely broke his heart."

"He's a big guy. He'll find someone better."

"Maybe,"

There was a moment of silence again. I didn't know what else to talk about. Natalia was here not going out even for an hour, which made that even more difficult to ask what was going on in her life.

Eventually, she breaks the silence herself.

"What are you going to name the baby?"

I smile because...

"I really don't know."

"You...don't?" she asks, a little confused.

"Nat, this baby caught us totally off guard. I didn't even know I could get pregnant like this. It was like we were celebrating our honeymoon and bang, time's out for celebrations,"

"I-ugh, you must think that the baby isn't even born yet and I hate it."

"You don't hate it, Anna. You're just scared the past doesn't repeat. You're scared. And honestly, I know that you're going to do your best."

"I've seen you with tons of kids. Deep down, you always wanted a baby for yourself."

"Yeah, but not this soon."

"Anna, you can try to tell yourself lies that you're not going to be a good parent. You can think that you may end up like...you know who. But you also know, nothing in this world would ever lay a hand on her till you're alive."

I giggle, rubbing my tummy slowly.

"Maybe, I..." I look straight into Natalia's eyes.

"I'm so fucking scared, Nat. So fucking scared. What if he or she doesn't love the way I am?"

"She will,"

"No, but-" I stop for a second and look at her, confused.

"What do you mean, she?"

Natalia smiles and gives me a soothing look.

"I know you wanted to know the gender, Anna. You always wanted to know. And I can tell you that..."

"An Angel's coming,"