Dirty Little Heart

Want You Back.

"Hey, talk to me?" I say to Nat.

She shook her head and looked directly at me once again.

"I'm sorry, I'm just on a lot of painkillers and I can't seem to keep my head straight."

"I guess I just..."

"You..?"

"I just want my best friend back again, Angie. I just want you back, just like the way we were before. Never fighting, always laughing and teasing each other. Even when times were hard, we never ever left each other's sight no matter how hard the situation was. I just want those days back."

"I'm sorry.. sight,. I'm in no position to ask this from you right now. I mean.. I should be happy that you're even talking to me right now, so.. Forget what I just said. I'm all over the place right now."

Not saying another word, I grab her hand with both of mine and I smile.

"We can have all that again, Nat. You are my best friend and trust me, if something happened to you? I would come up to where you would go just to tell you that you're a bitch."

We both laugh and she started coughing.

"Slow down. I guess I should probably have you get some rest." I say.

"It's okay... I can..."

She started coughing again. I give her a glass of water and she drinks it. The coughing seems to have settled down.

"Okay, rest."

"Yes, I should. I'm sorry Angie...I.."

"Hey, no more sorry's. Just rest, come back home and we'll settle this then when we can have a massive catfight."

"Haha, all right."

"I'll talk to the doctors about your discharge, Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks."

I smile at her while I walk out of the room. As I do, I see Mrs Polinski sitting on the hospital bench. She looks up at me and asks me to sit right next to her. Following her instruction, I take place right beside her, staying silent for the first few moments.

"How have you been doing, love?" She asks.

"I'm managing. How about you?"

"Oh, you know, losing track of time every day, staying at home, getting old. The usual stuff."

"Oh, Mrs Polinski, you know that's not true. In fact, I feel you're now a hundred times younger than before."

"Oh, come on, Angelica. You're a sweetheart."

"I try."

We share a giggle, and then we both realize where we were sitting.

"Do you think Natalia would be okay?" Mrs. Polinski asks.

"Of course, why wouldn't she? The doctor already said she's recovering well. She'll be fine. You don't have to worry. Besides, I'm always here to monitor her."

"I know you are, dear. I know you are."

I gazed at her, and she seemed so scared, and I couldn't figure out why.

"Ar... Are you okay?"

Mrs Polinski fixed her eyes intensely on me. She actually scared the life out of me for a few seconds. It felt like she wanted to get something out of her stomach, but she couldn't.

"Mrs Polinski?" I say, my voice still fluttering.

She kept her gaze on me, not even blinking.

"Angelica, I need you to promise me something."

"Any.. anything, Mrs Polinski."

"Take care of Natalia, will you? This isn't the first time she hasn't tied something like this."

"What do you mean, this isn't the first time?"

"She's done this before. A lot of times. I can't even seem to remember when we stayed home instead of in a hospital. I tried being the best mother she could ever have, but Natalia's father never accepted her."

"But.. why? Why would she try to end her life like this?" I ask eager to know what was behind all this.

Her mouth opened, but she said nothing. Mrs Polinski took a deep breath and barely got up. I helped her to do so.

"I think I should go now. I need to rake my medicines and I left them at home."

"Okay, I'll drive you."

"No, Angelica. I'll be fine. Please take care of Natalia."

She gave me a smile and walks away, leaving me thinking deeply. Natalia? Attempting these hundreds of times? That shit can't be true. I... No way that can be true. She was against all this. She is against all this. But..

I looked inside the room where she was resting again. I didn't want to make an issue out of this. Maybe Mr's Polinski just wanted me to take care of her daughter just like any mother cares about their family.

And I haven't been the best friend I should have been after collecting the truth. I took rash decisions and never even thought of hearing her side of the story. No way in hell I could do that again.

So I ignored it all for now. I went to the reception to ask for the doctor and talk to them about her discharge. The good news was I could take Natalia home in the evening. It would do her to stay at home to recover much better.

The day passed without making me realize it, and I fill up the paperwork for her discharge. The nurse brought Natalia in a wheelchair while she smiles looking directly at me.

"Look who's up," I say cheerfully.

"The one and only, Natalia Polinski." She adds.

"You ready to go?"

"More than ever."

She tries to get up from the chair and do so.

"Hey. You could have waited till I bring the car around?"

"It's okay. I can walk. The pain is only in my arm so, I'm okay."

I stare at her, concerned, and she walks towards me, holding my arm.

"If I fall, I'll make you go down with me, Okay?"

"You better." I kiss her forehead and continue filling out the forms before driving back home.

We reach our place within 15-20 minutes and I help her get settled in her room.

"Now, if you need anything, here's the whistle. Blow it and I'll be here, okay? You don't have to get up for now." I command her.

"Will it be okay with you?"

"Of course, Nat. Now rest."

"Goodnight, Angie."

"Night."

I turn off the lights in her room while going back to mine. As I do, I couldn't seem to forget about what Mrs Polinski said. She seemed more scared of Natalia than her health. I may be overthinking again...

"Or am I?" I think to myself while looking at her journal sitting on my bed.