Dirty Little Heart

Doesn't Matter.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..I..."

"It doesn't matter now."

He carefully snatched the box from my hands and gazed into it.

"I'm gonna go. I called my driver. He's already outside." Ethan says.

"What about your?.."

"He brought some spare clothes, Ms May. Thank you for the shake."

He walks out of his room as I follow behind him. Ethan opens the door and I could have a glimpse of a man standing with an umbrella. Just as he watches Ethan coming towards him, He opens the car door and grabs a spare shirt, giving it to him.

Ethan wears it and goes inside the car in the passenger seat while the other guy, in driving. And they drove off. Ethan didn't even look at me before going. I close the door behind me and I lean into it.

"Ethan had a fiance? If he did."

"Where is she, now?"

It was getting a lot late, so I just went back to sleep. I guess the rain is getting to me. I wasn't feeling all that good. Sure Angelica, for you, walking in the rain is dramatic, huh? Now see what you did to yourself.

I clean up the kitchen before walking into my bedroom and I get back to sleep.

--Ring Ring--

I woke up to the sound of my ringtone. I gotta change it. This one pitched right through my head. Barely opening my eyes, I grab my phone and see it's the hospital.

"Hello?" I say.

"Ms May?"

"Yes, this is she. Is everything all right?"

"Yes, Of course, Ma'am. Ms Polinski gained consciousness an hour ago. She's asking for you, ma'am."

"All right, I'll drive there right now."

I hang up the phone and quickly got dressed up to visit Nat. As I drove towards the Hospital, I get a text from Jonathan.

"Angelica? Are you okay? I haven't seen you in two days. I heard what happened to Natalia."

"I hope you're holding up better than before."

"Anyway, if you need some help, think of me."

I don't text him back for now because my primary concern was Nat. After reaching the hospital and parking my car, I run towards the reception, asking the receptionist where she was being held. She pointed and gave me the direction as I make my path to her.

She was in room 102. As I reach there, I see her through the mirror on the door. She was finally awake, finally smiling, while her mother brushed her hair in relief. I stood there in silence, watching the two of them exchange laughs. No matter what she did, I still am happy to see her alive.

Nat's eyes divert straight towards me and she asks her mother to give us two some privacy. Mrs Polinski gazes at me and smiles. She walks towards me and opens the door. I thought she would be angry at me for pushing her daughter into a situation like this. But...

"Thank you, Angelica. Without you being there on time. I don't know if I could see my daughter again."

"Of.. of course, Mrs Polinski. She's my friend and I had to do what I had to do. I couldn't afford to lose someone like her, too."

"Thank you dear, I hope you two clear things out."

And she walks away, leaving me.... confused. Clear things out? Did Mrs Polinski know what she was going to do? What did she mean by that? Okay no, Angelica. You fucking overthink. Stop and talk to your friend.

I walk inside, sitting right next to Nat.

"Hi." She says.

"You bitch. You couldn't just make your stupid vegetable juice and get food poisoning just because you make it so bad."

She laughs and holds my hand.

"I'm glad you're here."

"Really? Didn't seem like it when you cut your own skin for a bullshit fight."

"Please, don't start, Angie, I'm here aren't I?"

"Barely."

There was a moment of silence between us. I just couldn't help being angry at her. I won't say what she did was right but, she could have at least told me about it. It may have been 5 times better than this and she doesn't have to be here.

"Don't blame yourself," Nat says.

"I'm not."

"Look, I know what I did was wrong. But I just couldn't help myself, Angie. I knew you wouldn't risk anything, including the police. That's why I didn't ask you. All I wanted was your own safety. The reason that I hired a spy was because I could monitor his moves and protect him. At first, the guy told me everything about where he was living, where he went, who was he with, but then he just stopped, said he had already gone and he couldn't find Roger. I knew Him coming back to your life would mess you up again."

"So I thought supervising him would be better. Good thing the police didn't get involved, right?"

"Didn't they memo you to this? You should have thought this through because Sergeant Ricky just interrogated me yesterday at the police station."

She pauses for a bit as if she just realized this was the only thing she didn't think through.

"Okay, I totally forgot about the regulations, but you know. One statement from me and they'll be gone. I just need to tell them I did it because of my own problems."

"Try that, Ricky boy wasn't buying what I was saying. So, good luck."

We both stared at each other before bursting into laughs. It finally felt good, even if it was just for a while, but it felt good, familiar, real.

"Next time, please try to fill in with me?" I ask Nat.

"After all this? Of course. So.. will you be moving back?" She asks.

I stayed shut. Maybe I should have not, but I did. I got this feeling of taking it slow. Being careful before I could take another step.

"Oh, I get it. You still need some time."

"I.... I'll be back, I promise. I just.. I have a lot going on right now. Ethan was nice enough to let me use his hotel room so.."

"You're staying at Ethan Cooper's Hotel room?"

I thought she would get excited for me but she didn't at all, instead she got a little irritated.

"Yeah, why?"

Suddenly, Nat shook his head, trying to get to her senses and changed her whole behaviour.

"Well, I guess you got someone closer to you in the way."

Nat diverts her eyes from me, showing...

Resentment.