Dirty Little Heart

You And I.

The first day and first night of our honeymoon was mostly raw animal sex. Well, I did expect that. We were laying in bed together after we partied and ate dinner. Ethan was holding me close in my arms when I realised I was having a...nightmare.

There was this woman, this mid-40s old woman, looking at me. She wasn't looking so good. I was a kid, and I was hiding under a table. She was trying to say something but I couldn't understand what. I kept asking her where were you?

But how could I ask her questions like these when I didn't even know her? Finally, she became accessible to my ears.

"I..I'll find you, baby girl. Don't worry, I'll find you."

"M-will come back."

"Mommy will come back,"

Mommy? Suddenly, we hear a loud thump and my father comes in, drunk as always.

"Where the fuck were you, you stupid cow? Still....f*cking that bastard for money, eh? Come here you..."

"Noooooooo."

"Hey..hey...I'm here. Hey!"

I wake up and find Ethan trying to calm me down. He held me close in his arms, protecting me from this fucked up world and bullshit dreams.

I started crying because it was too...horrible.

"What happened?" Ethan asked.

"I..uh.." I pull back and looked straight into his eyes. I felt stupid telling him about what I dreamt of. I wasn't even sure if I did dreamt about my 'long lost mother'. The truth I knew about her was that she ran out of us and died. How can she..?

Stop it, Anna.

"I...I just had a terrible dream," I say, shaking at my wit's end.

Ethan picked up a glass of water and passed it.

"Here, have some water." I take a big sip and try to calm down. We both stayed silent for a while. Eventually, Ethan broke the silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked straight at him. I wanted to tell him, but I may cry over nothing. So, for now, I just smile and shook my head.

"I'm fine, it was just a stupid fucking horror apocalypse dream,"

"And...?"

"The zombies just ripped my dog," I try to change the subject, but Ethan knew I was lying. He could always tell.

"Come here." Ethan let out his arm, and I fell back on it, smoothly sinking into his warmth.

"I'm sorry I woke you up,"

"Don't worry about it. I was having a nightmare myself."

"What about?"

"I was the zombie eating your dog," we both laugh and share a quick kiss.

"I love you," I say.

"And I, you,"

Finally, we both fell back asleep. The next morning came quickly, Ethan went out for a jog as usual. He always wanted to keep himself fit. I got up, brushed and looking for something to eat.

Just before I could drink the first sip of my juice, I get a video call from Mai.

"Perfect timing." I pick it up, and Mai was driving her car going to work.

"Hey there, Mrs Cooper. Is this bad timing?" she says, though her eyes were straight ahead till now. Mai wasn't looking at the camera.

"I feel okay. I guess the food here is giving me food poisoning, but fucking stomach hurts and I have a massive headache," I say while I settle down at the dining table with the food and juice.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"Well...I.."

"What?!"

I don't know why...but as soon as I took that first piece of bread and Chicken...I..

"Fuck me,"

I rushed down to the bathroom and ...threw up..

"Hey, Anna? Are..are you okay? Anna!"

"Fuck...ng hold up.." I threw up again. And finally, after 5 terrible minutes. I get a hold of myself and crawl back to the table. I pick up my phone and look at the screen.

"What the hell happened to you? Did you eat something you weren't supposed to eat??!"

"I don't fucking know. I was feeling nauseous last night too. It has to be something that I ate."

Mai stays silent. She stares at me for an entire minute.

" What?! I ask.

"Anna, are you-?"

"Oh shut up, I'm not pregnant."

"Anna, it's the only explanation."

"I..no. We always use the damn protection, Mai. I can't."

"Those don't always work, Anna. Okay, fine. If you don't believe me, don't. Just enjoy, come back, and we'll go to the doctor. Okay?"

Just before I could answer, Ethan walks in.

"Morning, beautiful." He says while he walks up to me. He figures I was talking to Mai, who put on her fake work mode on instantly.

"Good morning, Mr Cooper. I was just on my way to work."

Ethan smiles and was about to answer her but is prevented by my sweatiness.

"Are you okay?" Ethan asks.

"I'll talk to you later, Anna. I'm already at work so. Take care, okay?"

She hangs up, and I nearly drop the phone.

"Hey, hey. What Is it?"

I stay silent. I didn't want to tell him just yet. Hell, I wasn't even sure about it. So I change the subject completely.

"I....I just woke up with a headache, nothing else."

"Are you sure? We can go to the doctor."

"Oh, no, there's no need, Ethan. I'll tell you if something happens."

He was still concerned. Ethan placed his hand on my forehead and I was burning up. I was having a fever.

"Yeah, you're burning up. Why don't we stay the day in today, hm?"

"Oh, I really don't want to spoil our honeymoon. We can go,"

"Anna, look at me."

Ethan holds my face and turned it towards his. Forcing me to stare deep into his eyes.

"I'll be happy anywhere when I'm with you, okay? I don't care if we stay home or go out. I only want to see you happy more than I want myself to be."

"I'll grab something light for you to eat. And you have to eat some medicines, okay?"

"Ethan...I..." I made terrible faces as he eyes me.

"Fine, I will," I say, and he kisses my forehead.

"Let me just take a shower, then I'll go fetch some things for us," Ethan tells while going inside the bathroom. I throw my face down at the table, moaning terribly.

I take a deep breath and unlock my phone to check when I had my last period.

And the results were....

F*cked.