Dirty Little Heart

Mother.

After our sick honeymoon, which was both what I needed and fucked in health issues. We go back to California. The first meeting I had was with Mai.

Ethan had to go to the office to do some stuff, so Mai came after her work. She came straight to our place and...

"Okay, when was the last date?" She asks.

I stay silent because it was fucking 2 weeks ago. It didn't even come to my mind that there's a natural way of your body telling you, you're not fucking pregnant.

My silence was enough to tell her it was a long time before I had my date.

"Oh, Anna. Have you told Ethan yet?" Mai asks in a soothing tone.

"No, not yet. And I fucking won't till I'm not sure what to do about this situation."

"He deserves to know, Anna. He loves you. So it won't be hard for him to listen to this if you're okay."

"How can you be so sure, Mai? He's Ethan fucking Cooper. Magazines declared him a fucking playboy billionaire humping bimbos for sport. This won't be the life he needed right now. It's too soon."

"Hell, I'm not even sure myself."

Mai stays quiet. After hearing the horrible things I just said, how can she utter a single word? Sure, some say having a baby is the best thing you can ever be gifted with. But I did ask myself this question: is it really true? Do we? Do they? I don't know and I don't think right now I want to find out.

"Okay, look. Whatever you do, whatever the decision, I'll always hear to support you. No fucking matter what, you got it?" She says while holding my hand in hers, looking deep into my eyes.

I smiled weakly at Mai and let out a deep breath.

"I know. I just need some time to figure this out."

"Take all the time you need, Anna. You've got all of us. Ethan too." She says and giggles a bit.

"I know this may seem weird but, I can't wait to be an aunt!"

"Mai shut up." I say and start laughing. We chit chat for a while and after an hour, Mai finally goes back home. And I, well, I was sitting at the table trying to figure out what I was supposed to do about this.

Before I could live those moments of what'll happen next, I fell asleep first.

—-—

I was in this garden, birds chirping, kids playing by the swings. And I was there with....her.

I see a woman walking in front of me. She looked familiar, but I couldn't recall who she was. So I just follow her where she was going.

"Hey, I need to talk to you. Miss," I try stopping that woman, but she keeps off running away. I follow her into a warehouse. It looked like the one I was in with Natalia.

Empty, dark, creepy. I focus on the woman. Looking around, I see a man coming from the depths holding a shotgun.

"You b*tch, here back for more?" He growled.

"D-daddy? Wh..what are you doing here?"

"I'm f*cking up the one who gave birth to you!"

At that point, I hear a loud screw, and my father shoots a woman standing right behind me. Dad vanishes away, leaving the woman On the floor, bleeding.

"Wh..wait, I'll call..and..."

Suddenly, she grabs my arm as tight as she could and looked straight into my eyes.

"Don't be you..your...father,"

"Wh..what?!" I ask her, whimpering as hell myself.

"Don't be like your father,"

She fades away and I see nothing but blood on my hands.

And I scream, as loud as I could that it hurt my throat.

"Hey, Anna. ANNA!" Ethan holds me and tries waking me up, forcing me to come to my senses.

"What happened!? I."

"Ethan?" I wrap my arms around him as soon as I realise that it was just a dream. I cry harder than I usually did. It was a lot for me to take in. A lot. All I could remember was her face. Whoever she was, she meant something to me that I know. But...who?

Ethan held me close. He didn't even ask what was wrong because I was so scared. All those seconds I was in his warmth. I was shivering, as if someone just made me stand naked on an icy floor.

"I'm here, Anna, I'm here. Don't worry."

———

The next morning, I was still in bed, and Ethan made me breakfast. I woke up and saw him sitting right beside me, smiling.

"You feeling okay?" he asks. I get up and try sitting straight.

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm not sure."

He slid his hand through my cheek and behind my neck, easing some headache.

"Anna, I'll get straight to the point. What the hell is happening?"

I stay silent. I still wasn't ready to tell him. I had to make sure that I really was pregnant. And if he's asking about the nightmares I've been having. How the hell am I supposed to say?

My alive or dead mother is haunting my dreams, giving me directions? No. I smile at him and say in a soothing voice.

"If there was something to be worried about, I'll tell you, Ethan. You know that I will. I think I'm just jet-lagged."

Ethan scoffed and looked at me, disappointed.

"Anna, I'm not stupid or a kid. Look, I love you. And all I can see for now is you having trouble sleeping, eating, and even breathing. Please, tell me what the hell is happening," he was pleading with me. I knew Ethan was concerned as hell.

But I stay silent.

He instantly gets up pin frustration and walked over to the table, trying to calm his anger down.

"Fine, don't tell me," Ethan said, almost growling.

"I guess the time isn't right, right now anyway."

"What do you mean.?"

Ethan turned to look at me and slid his hands into his pocket.

"There's...there's someone outside who wants to talk to you."

"Who?"

"A lawyer, Anna. He's here to talk about., your mother."