Hey. It's been a while. Hope you're having a good birthday, wherever you are. So listen. I think you'd be happy to know it doesn't hurt nearly as much now as it did. I met this girl. A daughter of Urania. She knew what it was like to lose a brother and I guess we bonded over that maybe and I guess I needed to fill that void you'd left in me but I think the breakup was pretty mutual. First because I wasn't sure I actually loved her and second because I could tell how she looked at that Demeter boy. After a few months the relationship had just run it's course I think. After that. I screamed, cried, did a lot of things I would regret, gave up hope, pushed people away, lost my mind, fell apart, tried to run away from myself, tried to pick myself up again and got beat down over and over. Will was the only one that stopped me from ending everything most of the time. He wasn't always there. But in the end he came back to me. I know he misses you too, though we don't talk about it much. You've missed a lot, you know. Will and Nico got married pretty soon after you died and they have too many kids to count. I wonder if you would've liked them. I don't much but I'm working on it.
I'm back now. Not just that messed up me who didn't even know who or what I was supposed to be. The real me I mean. The one I haven't really been since you...you know. See, I met someone else. Eleanor. I think this is the first time I understand what love is. The romantic kind I mean. That sounds cheesy but it's true. Not only do I feel like myself again, I feel like I can see a future with them, where I'd never seen a future with anyone before. I can pinpoint the exact moment I fell for them. I'm more and more sure that this at least will last, despite nothing else lasting. I can't wait to see you again, but it won't be quite as soon as we thought. Eventually, I got better. Even though I thought I was too far gone. And some days there are relapses. Some days are harder than others but I have so much hope now. I feel okay for the first time since I lost you. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but it really was worth it in the end, I think. I know you'd be so happy to hear that. That doesn't mean I don't still miss you. But it does mean I'm okay with it now. I am sorry we fought before I left. I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye. But it's not forever. Wherever you are now, whatever you're doing, I hope you know that. I'm still fighting because life gave me a future to fight for, something for myself and not just for someone else. I hope you're happy wherever you are. Are our other siblings there too? Lee and Michael and Emily and the others? I hope so. I hope you got to see your mom again, too. I hope there's music and sunshine and laughter where you are. And it's peaceful. But I hope you still think of me sometimes. I hope you're waiting for me. You better be, because next time I see you I'm going to hug you so tight.
Love you, your little sis
