I'll Always Find You (A Daryl Dixon X Reader)

CHAPTER 59: How Am I Gonna Get Through This?

The days all seemed to come and go in a blur. I tried to find things to focus on. Like taking care of Judith, helping fortify the prison in case of an incoming attack. Charlotte was still mad at me, but at least she was speaking to me now specially after Rick's little mental breakdown.

    I felt his pain. I really thought I was starting to go crazy, every branch breaking in the distance, every shadow. I was terrified that the Governor was going to come destroy our home, kill our people. The intense moment between us, I was slightly glad I couldn't remember some of it, but the beginning I could and I couldn't get it out of my head. Like a nightmare it plagued me and played over and over.

    Glenn had told Hershel what he knew about my time with the Governor as he was fixed up first. I was pissed to say the least since it was none of his business. But at the same time I was at least a little thankful. Thankful because when Hershel asked, he was now the only one who truly knew everything that happened while we were gone. It was hard opening up to him, but I did it because I knew if I didn't, I was going to go crazy.

Hershel, Rick, Maggie and Carol were also the only ones who knew that I was pregnant. I was terrified to be doing this on my own once again. The shittiest part of all was, I wasn't as happy about being pregnant again as I hoped I'd be. I wasn't happy because the baby growing inside me only further reminded me of Daryl. Reminded me that he was gone and I was alone.

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DARYL'S POV:

It had been a few days, traveling through the woods with Merle. Honestly, I was traveling a lot slower than normal. I thought this was what I wanted. But the further away we walked the more and more I missed my girls. I wanted them to come with me. I really did. But Y/n was right. The woods was no place for Charlotte or her to live. I was selfish for wanting it all and I knew it. I was just to stubborn and I knew that too.

I looked around the woods as we were scavenging, barely finding a grub on the ground we could eat.

"There ain't nothing out here but mosquitos and ants." I huffed.

"Patience, little brother." Merle said as he took a piss against a tree. "Sooner or later, a squirrel is bound to scurry across your path."

"Even so, that ain't much food." I told him over my shoulder without looking.

"Eh, more than nothin'." Merle shrugged.

"I'd have better luck going through one of them houses we passed back on the turnoff." I suggested.

"Is that what your new friends taught you? Hmm?" Merle zipped himself back up and walked up behind me. "How to loot for booty?"

"Man, we've been at it for hours." I complained. "Why don't we find a stream, try to look for some fish?"

"I think you're just trying to lead me back to the road, man. Get me over to that prison." Merle scoffed.

"They got shelter." I said simply. "Food. A pot to piss in. Might not be a bad idea."

"For you, maybe." Merle smirked. "But it's not only that that's driving you back, now is it? It's your Ex-girlfriend and your kid you left behind. Ah, touched a nerve, did I?" He asked as I tensed. "Listen, it ain't gonna be no damn party for me."

"Everyone will get used to each other." I mentioned as I raised my crossbow into the forest hearing something. "Y/n's not my ex, you know." I scoffed. "We just... Had a little argument before I left."

"They're all dead." Merle stated and I lowered my crossbow. Questions ran through my mind as I thought about Y/n and Charlotte being left behind defenseless. "Makes no difference."