I'll Always Find You (A Daryl Dixon X Reader)

CHAPTER 58: Off His Rocker

"You've got a knack for that." Carol mentioned as I began to walk her up the stairs towards Daryl and I's perch...

Well, just my perch now I suppose.

    "Well it's been a while, but I had to learn fast." I said thinking back to how I had to learn to be a mother at 16.

    "Sophia used to wake the neighbors." Carol chuckled slightly. "3:00 am like clockwork. Ed stayed at a friends most nights till she calmed down. Crazy how fast time goes by."

    "It really is..." I sighed. "So how mad is she?"

    "She's upset, but she'll come around." Carol stated and I nodded. "You know, I know you said it was your fault, you chose to stay. But I don't believe that, you know. I know you would have wanted to go with him, unless it was for good reason and I told her that. As well as Daryl makes up his own mind. He can be stubborn. And Men like Merle, they get into your head. Make you feel like you deserve the abuse."

    "Shhh." I rocked Judith as she cried slightly. "Daryl is stubborn that's for sure. I'm just so mad that he did this. It... It's not fair. He left when we were teenagers just like he has now. Following after Merle." I scoffed and tears began to fill my eyes. "He chose Merle over Charlotte. I'm upset about me, but I'm more angry about her. A-And now, I might have to do this all over again, alone."

    "What are you talking about?" Carol gasped as she looked up from the laundry she was folding.

    "I went on this run with Glenn and Maggie because apart of me knew I needed to get to the store. I-I needed a pregnancy test... I took it and this was the result." I sighed as I pulled it out of my back pocket. I handed it to Carol and her eyes grew as she read the positive marker on the test.

    "Oh, honey."

    "Every pregnancy with Shane, ended in miscarriage. Or the birth of our daughter, who died an hour later after being born at 22 weeks. I-I can't go through that again. A-and now... During our time in Woodbury..." I began to breath heavily in a panic attack.

Carol rushed to my side and took the baby from me and rubbed my back.

    "Y/n, you gotta try and breath. You don't have to talk about what happened if you don't want too. Maybe for now it's a little to fresh." Carol suggested and I nodded.

I started to begin trying to calm down, with breathing in and out slowly. I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them I looked at Carol concerned.

    "There was a lot of blood, Carol. I don't even know if the baby inside me is still living." I cried quietly.

    "I still have the fetal monitor we used for Lori..." Carol suggested gently. "Before we jump to any conclusions let's just breathe and take one step at a time."

    "Okay." I sniffled and agreed.

Carol placed Judith inside her little mailbox crate, a make shift crib we had made for her. She carried her inside the box as we went to her cell to go have a seat. I smiled slightly seeing Judith sleeping so peacefully while Carol searched through her bags until she found the Fetal Doppler and a container of gel. I laid back on the bed as she instructed and I nearly held my breath.

I lifted my shirt up to the underneath of my breasts and looked at the top bunk above me. Carol's hand waved over mine for a moment, thumbing my hand in a gentle manner of comfort. I relaxed slightly and she placed the cold gel on my stomach. I stared straight up as she moved the gel around with the Doppler and began to move the wand around after turning the device on. For a moment the only heartbeat being picked up was my own.