Bad Dreams | Newt x Reader (Being Edited)

Chapter 83- "Mon coeur est à toi."

Warnings: awkwardness, mentions of murder, angst

We had stopped in the middle of nowhere for the night. After dinner, Élliot offered to take the first watch. The rest of us were too tired to argue with that. I had woken up in the afternoon, and as Bella predicted, I was cranky the rest of the day.

"I'm sorry, alright?" Élliot leaned back against a rock, his head resting as he looked up at the stars. He looked so peaceful, the breeze gently lifting his hair. Somehow, his hair seemed darker than the night sky itself.

He flicked his eyes down and caught my eye. The corner of his mouth pulled into a smirk as he realised I was finally acknowledging his existence.

I made a face at him and rolled on my back. The stars stared down at me. The nostalgia was enough to nearly make me sick. Instead of facing the past, I rolled back on my side and found Élliot watching me.

He gestured for me to come to him. I shook my head and pulled up the blanket against the cool breeze.

He gave me a look. "You're glad we're here. You became happier when you saw me."

I sat up to glare at him. "That is the most pretentious thing I have ever heard."

Élliot raised his eyebrows in challenge.

"I was not happy to see you," I argued, getting to my feet.

"You feel guilty when you lie."

I stalked closer to him. "Shut up."

Bella snickered as I sat down next to him, already shifting myself closer to his warm body. "Can you two be quiet now? You're bickering like a married couple."

I ignored her comment and spread the blanket over myself.

"Sleep," he whispered in my ear. His arm draped around me, chasing away the cold.

I leaned against him, burying my face in his neck. For the first time in days, the strangling guilt eased and I could breathe.

102 days after his death

I woke up completely encased by him. Sometime during the night he had moved to lay on the ground. Our legs were pressed together while his arms held me impossibly close to him. I slowly lifted my head slightly from where it was against his chest and looked at his face.

Élliot was still asleep, his head angled down from where it had been protectively over mine. His hair curled over his forehead, hanging in the air as he slept.

Someone snickered quietly and I turned my head to glare at Bella. She looked away, attempting to look innocent. I sighed, turned back around so I was more comfortable.

Élliot shifted, his face burying itself in my hair. My eyes widened slightly in panic. I really needed to figure out how I felt about him and I really needed to move.

Ever so slowly, I started to untangle myself from him.

Élliot stirred, making me freeze. His lips brushed my forehead as he settled down again.

"Where do you think you're going?" he murmured.

I looked up, finding his sky blue eyes open. He smirked and kissed my forehead again before letting me go. I slowly got up and stretched, trying to cover up that I was still affected by that.

"So, what exactly is the plan?" Bella asked as we drove across the dry landscape. She was busy tugging her long hair into a braid, half of it still swishing with every bump of the car.

Through glances that were obvious to me in the car's mirror, but of course not Bella because she happened to be blind, Leo was staring at her. His adoring eyes flickered from her face to her hair, cheeks burning all the while. Bella's nimble fingers finished the braid and she flicked it over her shoulder. Leo's face became more akin to a tomato.

"The plan is to find the Wolf and kill him," I answered, feeling rather sorry for poor Leo.

Bella blinked at my bluntness but nodded anyway.

"And I want to rescue my friend, Minho," I added, making a mental to-do list.

So many months had passed since he had been taken. His face and voice were beginning to fade in my memories. So many times I had wanted to leave on my own to find him. I knew if I did, a lot of people would die. I had finally reached the point of not caring. What that said about the state of my mind and how much time I had left, I didn't care either.

"And then?" Bella asked, finally noticing Leo and frowning at him.

"Give the Wolf's head to the Phoenix, kill her and beat Wicked to pulp."

Bella nodded along.

"What happens after all this is over?" Leo asked.

I die.

I shrugged, ignoring Élliot's glance. "Haven't really thought about that."

"Would you want to go back to Mexico City?" Élliot asked, his hands flexing on the wheel.

For once, I allowed myself to daydream about the future that could have been. All of us together, living like a close knit family. "That would be nice."

"Or we could find a place away from everything," Élliot offered, looking into the distance. "Get away from everything and live peacefully."

"What about Mexico City?" I asked.

Élliot reached over to take my hand. "I'd rather be with you. Besides, I can leave someone else in charge."

I smiled shyly at him before looking out, trying to ease the burning stinging of tears. I daydreamed of that as well. I imagined us living somewhere near the beach. We would go swimming and spend hours there in the ocean with each other. I imagined slowly falling in love with him as I healed from the grief.

"Are we in this future? Or is it just you two?" Bella asked, nudging me out of my fantasties.

"Of course you are," Élliot said immediately. "You're family, Kei as well."

"Aw," Bella said dryly. "That was nice of you."

We stopped for the night again. A cold breeze had picked up, leaving me shivering. I summoned Élliot's leather jacket, which I had kept. Élliot looked mildly surprised as I slipped it on.

"Do you want it back?" I asked, tugging it closer to combat the cold.

"No," Élliot replied. "It looks good on you."

Bella snickered at that.

I decided to cuddle with Élliot again that night, even though it might create an awkward situation.

"Mon coeur est à toi," he whispered in my ear.

"What does that mean?" I asked, opening my eyes and peering up at him.

He blushed in the firelight. "I thought you were asleep."

"What does it mean?" I pressed, poking him lightly in the stomach.

Élliot sighed, his hand sliding up my back and into my hair. I was almost asleep by the time he next spoke.

"My heart is yours."

Guilt broke through the numbness again. I couldn't love him romantically no matter how hard I tried. I was too broken, I needed time we didn't have. Seven days remained until the Wraith would come for me.