Bad Dreams | Newt x Reader (Being Edited)

Chapter 61- For a Single Moment, Everything was Quiet

Warnings: angst, possible reader experience of immense relief because it's finally time.

Nik's POV

Days passed before I could even bring myself to ask Alex how she was. I hadn't even seen her since the argument and according to Felix she often used her illusions. At least she hadn't given in to the Wraith. For once in my life, I couldn't bring myself to put her first. I couldn't find the strength to bottle everything away, go beg for her forgiveness and put everything back to how it was.

Her words throbbed in my heart like an open, festering wound. The question of whether she really wished that or if it was simply the heat of the moment was too much to bear.

"How is she?" I asked one night as we sat a short distance away from camp.

The cool night air brushed against my face. We were far enough from ruined civilisations that I wasn't overly concerned about Cranks or anyone else stumbling upon us. The moon was particularly bright in the cloudless sky. Stars were scattered across the dark canvas of the night, distantly shining upon us. For a moment, I allowed myself to wonder if there was anyone out there amongst the uncountable specks of light.

"She's..." Alex fumbled for a word. "As far as I know, she only speaks to Vince, Archie and Aaliyah. She's cranky with everyone else."

"Even you?"

Alex lifted his chin to the sky again. "Yeah, because I'm you-adjacent. I'm sure she feels this is a betrayal. I've tried to tell her that I'm not on either side but she wasn't having it."

I studied him, praying that he wouldn't notice too soon. In the light he was even more breathtakingly handsome. The moon reflected off his eyes, leaving an adorable glint in his eyes. His light brown hair shifted with the movement of his head. We stared at each other for a long moment.

"Can I have my second question?" Alex asked, shifting to lie on his side. He used his arm as a pillow for his wonderful head.

"Okay," I agreed. I had been waiting for this since the day he demanded those three questions. Despite the regret I felt about the situation and how we even had to make this agreement in the first place, I doubted I could have said no to him.

"Are you okay?"

The question sat in the tense silence while I made a show of glancing around for Cranks. We both knew there were none. Sighing, I settled my head on the hard ground and stared up at the glittering night sky. Alex waited patiently until I was ready to answer, ready to be entirely vulnerable with him.

"I'm not okay," I confessed, my throat instantly tightened with the promise of crying. "I haven't been since Coralie betrayed us."

"We haven't really talked about that," Alex said quietly, but did not push beyond that.

For a few seconds, I debated relieving myself by denying him access to my emotions. But I couldn't. "Some part of me still thinks it's all a bad dream. None of us saw it coming. How could we?"

Alex reached down and took my hand. His warmth eased up my arm, encouraging me to keep opening up.

"Y/n doesn't know what I'm going to tell you, I'd appreciate it if you kept this between us." I tilted my head to look at him. "Coralie has a mental problem that doesn't allow her to process emotions as normal. She's borderline Corrupt."

Alex froze, staring at me. "What? Wait, why can't Y/n know this?"

"Because she might freak out and run from us. Coralie murdered our parents with no remorse for her obsession with James. You saw it too, right? She would follow him around like a lost puppy. Anyway, it mirrors too closely what might happen in the future if she can't hold back the Wraith."

"How do you know this?"

"She spoke to me when we were in Denver while Y/n was busy fighting Harvey."

Alex fell silent, thinking about what I had told him.

"I miss her sometimes," I admitted, the truth removing some of the weight on my heart. Memories of my big sister haunted me, but I seldom allowed myself to remember, as I did now. We had spent so much time together before James, hours spent by the beach and watching movies. Even beyond the fence surrounding our house I had felt beyond safe with the knowledge my sister would protect me.

He squeezed my hand reassuringly. "It's okay to feel that way."

"She murdered my parents. Lillian died because of her. Literally everything is because of the choice she made to turn to Wicked."

"She was still your sister. You grew up with her. No one can blame you for missing her."

The situation became too heavy for me and I felt myself closing back up. "Is Harriet dating Skylar?"

"I think so," Alex said, his thumb caressing my wrist and sending sparks tingling across my skin.

"I thought you and her had some sort of thing going on."

That startled a shocked laugh out of him. "No, no. Harriet's just my friend. She's not even my type."

I shot him what I hoped was a teasing smile. "Out of curiosity, what is your type? It better not be Y/n."

"Did you hit your head?"

"Excuse me?"

Alex reached up and placed his palm over my forehead. "You don't seem to have."

I smacked his hand away lightly. "What?"

"I'm just wondering why you've suddenly become a lot stupider."

A broken scoff left my mouth. "Excuse me?"

Alex shifted up and over me, propping himself up on his elbows either side of my head. His eyes stared into mine so softly I wondered if it was he who hit his head.

"Are you practising how you are going to confess to this mysterious woman? I must say, I don't think she will enjoy being pressed to the ground and having you lean over her in your confession."

One of his signature frowns graced his face. "Am I reading you wrong?"

"What?" I repeated again, trying to squash the persistent spark of hope in my heart.

"Nik," Alex complained quietly, leaning closer until the ends of his hair brushed against face and a sliver of space remained between us. "What do you want?"

If this went wrong I was going to erase his memories and live in the delusional world where none of this ever happened. My thoughts moved sluggishly through my head, distracted by him.

"I want..." My eyes dropped to his lips. "You. I want you, Alexander."

That gorgeous mouth of his split into a devastating smile. "I want you too, Nikolai."

"Kiss me," I whispered, begged.

His breath hitched and for a moment I thought I made a terrible mistake, but his mouth soon brushed against mine in a tentative kiss. Warmth flooded my body as our hearts hammered against each other. All thoughts completely vanished from my head until all there remained was him. Nothing had ever felt so right.

My self-control snapped.

I pushed myself up, following him as he drew back. I kissed him again, harder this time and found myself rewarded with a small sound of pleased surprise. I felt clumsy, entirely unpracticed in what I was supposed to do. I had never kissed anyone before.

Alex broke the kiss, grinning down at me. "I take it that it wasn't so bad?"

"Come back here."

I experimentally slid my hand over his ribs as he leaned down again. The feeling of firm muscle beneath my hands sent heat sparking in every inch of my body, filling my veins until I felt giddy with joy. My heart skipped a beat as he shifted further over me.

"Still think it's a girl?" Alex asked between kissing me.

"Shut up."

Alex laughed, the sound vibrating against my chest.