I swear Eleanor can read my mind sometimes. And I can't make myself lie to her. She says whatever my secret is, she'll be there to help me carry it. I don't want to let things like this sit inside me forever, but it's just so much easier to pretend. Maybe telling Will first before Eleanor might make it a little easier. It's usually easy for me to tell him things. Usually. But then I don't know how to bring it up. And it's scary. Like once I start I'll have to finish, and what if I can't? I don't know. I don't know.
