Electric Love || Bucky Barnes X OC

Chapter 34

Bucky's POV...

It's been over a week since I've spoken to Mia and I think I'm going insane. I'm doing my best to give her space and let her come to me but if I don't touch that woman soon then I'm going to explode. She's been hanging out with Sam and I'm jealous that he gets to hear her laugh and see her smile. Part of me wonders if she's moved onto him or if he's just trying to be her friend. The thought of them together makes me physically ill but logically I know she's not doing anything with him. They went roller skating with some of the others and I managed to catch a glimpse of her when they came back. She looked at me then immediately looked away and crushed my hopes that she'd come talk to me. I'm trying to respect her but it's not going to last much longer if she won't even talk to me. When she asked for space I knew I'd see less of her but I didn't know I'd seen none of her. 

My plan today was to spend most of the day outside my room so if she came out I'd see her and can try to talk to her. I've never in my life missed someone like this or craved another person's presence the way I crave hers. It's like I almost feel sick thinking of not seeing her again or touching her again. What if she's never close enough to me again for me to smell her shampoo or her perfume? How am I going to recover from losing something I never had in the first place? All this time apart was making me think I should just take the risk and give in to what she wants even if it breaks my heart later on. At this point, I'm about ready to sell my soul or take her to Vegas and marry her just to be near her again.

Steve has tried to talk to me some about it but I don't know what to tell him. He's convinced I'm just infatuated with her because we've been sleeping together. I know it's deeper than that but Steve doesn't understand what I see in her beyond her physical appearance. No one is questioning why I'm attracted to her or why I've been fucking her but he's definitely questioning why I keep saying it's complicated. Then there's Sam and all is counseling stuff. He insists that I should stop protesting what she wants from me and just be fully with her. Maybe he's right but I'm already losing her. She's already a flight risk and we're not even together. If I give in to her and she just up and leaves me one day, I won't ever get over her. She's the only person who could break me, truly break me, and I'm so damn close to just letting her destroy me. Sam insists that I need to tell her all these feelings I'm having so we can talk about it but I don't know how. If I tell Mia these things, she's going to think that I don't want her or that I think she's temporary and that'll just hurt her.

I said my goodbyes to Alpine and headed out of my room. As soon as I latched the door, I collided with someone. Automatically I grabbed them to stop us from falling but the force sent us spinning and I managed to catch us on the wall. I looked down to see Mia with tears in her eyes and looking very startled. Her back was against the wall and I had one hand behind her waist and the other above her head on the wall. "Hi there princess, we've got to stop meeting like this."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to run into you again."

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Just shit with Tony, what else?"

"Do you want to talk about it? I've got some free time if you want to sit or we can walk."

"No, I'm fine. He's just being a dick and treating me like a child."

"You know I'm happy to listen to whatever it is, even if you think it was small."

"I know and I appreciate that."

Without thinking I brushed her hair out of her face and gently stroked her cheek. Her breath caught in her chest and when she finally let it go, her breath was shakey. "I've missed you, doll."

"I've missed you too."

"I didn't know you were going to completely avoid me while you were taking space. My hope was that I'd still talk to you once in a while."