Electric Love || Bucky Barnes X OC

Chapter 19

To say I've been avoiding Bucky would be an understatement, perhaps the understatement of the year. I've been having Friday notify me when Bucky leaves his room so I can make myself scarce. He's been trying to find me and he's been texting me trying to get me to talk to him but I was ignoring him. In the last week, we've been working on recon for our mission but I've taken every opportunity to get paired up with Sam and let Bucky go with Steve. Anytime we've seen each other it's been around other people and I slip out before he can talk to me. My feelings about him haven't changed and that's part of why I'm avoiding him. I was working on his arm in my lab as I have been a lot lately. Today I was assembling the prototype and then I needed to make sure it fit him before I send it off to get the final made. To avoid this issue happening again, I'm having his arm made with vibraniun but I only have one try to get it right. Turns out King T'Challa felt guilty for trying to murder Bucky and was willing to help me replace his arm. I pitched it as a sort of a clean start for him, some separation from the Winter Soldier and Hydra. T'Challa hadn't held back his feelings and what he told me was still echoing in my brain. 'You can try to erase every reminder of Hydra but for him, it'll never be over. The soldier is still in his head just waiting to kill again and even if he wasn't, he'll remember every kill for the rest of his life.'

T'Challa is wise beyond his years and he's right but that didn't mean it didn't break my heart a little. Is that what Bucky thinks of himself too? Is he just waiting to have his control retaken from him and be made to hurt people like before? It's one of the things I wish I could help him with but he won't let me in. How do you make someone understand that you don't care about their past and that you want a place in their future? Bucky is so much more than he gives himself credit for. Unfortunately, I had to call him down to my lab now to make sure his arm fit. I'm not going to let him talk me into spending time with him or doing anything with him. We're not going to talk about anything other than our mission or his arm. Maybe he doesn't understand why he's hurting me but I have to save myself. He's not ready and maybe one day he will be, but I won't just sit here and wait for that day. Not that I can see myself being with anyone else here but I'm not going to act like his girlfriend when all I am is a hookup to him. I sent the memo through Friday and it only took about 10 minutes before he was knocking on my lab door. "Hey, you can come in. I have the prototype for your arm done and I need to make sure it fits before I have the final one made. It should be back before we have to leave for the mission."

"Is that what you called me down here for?"

"Yes. Please take a seat."

"Okay."

He sat down and I worked in silence, taking time to check the wounds on his arm. "Why didn't you tell me that it was hurting you again?"

"It would be hard to tell you something when you've been hiding from me."

"I'm not hiding, I'm just busy. I was working on this and a new suit."

"You keep literally running away from me."

"I was busy."

"Can we please talk about it? I don't understand why you suddenly won't see me. We had a nice time last week going bowling and shopping and after or at least I thought. But then you came down for dinner and barely talked to me at all then you started avoiding me. Sam annoys the shit out of you and I know that but you keep requesting to be partners with him to work on things for the mission."

"No, there's nothing to talk about."

"Mia seriously, what did I do?"

"Stop, you're just here for me to finish your arm not to talk about me."

"I'm talking about us."

"There is no us." I accidentally yelled

"Is that why you're mad?"