Electric Love || Bucky Barnes X OC

Chapter 48

Bucky's POV...

While Mia was with Tony I sat in the courtyard in her little secret spot that she likes to come to draw in and all I could think about was what if she listens to Tony and dumps me. What if she realizes he's right and she chooses her relationship with him over one with me? I would understand, he's her dad and I'm some guy she's known for a handful of months and I know her feelings are as real as my own but still. It's obvious to anyone with eyes that she adored Tony as a child and even through to now even if he abandoned her and treated her like shit. It doesn't even matter that he hit her or that he says horrible things to her all the time. He's her dad and she wants a relationship with him even if she pretends she can live without it or that it's unimportant.  

I'm trying to trust that she means everything she says to me and I want to believe that she loves me as much as I love her, but maybe that's just because if I believe anything else, it might break me. I don't know how to describe it without it sounding like it's something someone would say in one of the romance novels Mia reads or the movies she watches so I'll just say it. Being around her makes me feel like my world stops spinning and the time stops ticking by so quickly as to allow me to bathe in the glow and warmth of her smile and laughter. It's because I love her in a way that I thought I never would, in a way I thought I lost in all the years I spent as the Winter Soldier but she brought it back. I remember liking girls before but I don't remember it ever being this consuming. When Mia leaves the room, I worry that she may never come back for whatever reason and I feel the need to know every move she makes in the day, not because I want to control her but because I need to protect her. I've never felt like this before and it's so strong that it's scary and I don't know how to explain to someone who is maybe 5'1 that they scare me so intensely that I can't think straight. I guess a good place to start would just be telling her that I love her but that somehow seems scarier. 

Honestly, I expected her to come out here with tears streaming down her face and sobbing about how he was cruel to her again but she seemed calm when she walked in. There were tears in her eyes but she didn't look sad, she looked optimistic almost which is an emotion I'm not too familiar with but I see it in her eyes a lot when she looks at me. She slammed straight into my arms that were outstretched to her. "That bad?" I asked her as I held her firmly against myself in case she needed to cry

"No, not bad, just hard to hear and it's just a lot."

"Come on, let's go for a walk and you can tell me all about it."

She let me take her hand and guide her out of the compound to just walk around while she told me all about their conversation. I listened and asked questions where needed but mostly I just tried to process that maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe he does love her and he's just failing to show it and keeps making a bigger mess every time he tries to show it which I can understand. The strangest part was that I felt normal walking with her, like I wasn't the Winter Soldier or even a super soldier like I was the same James I was before I was drafted. I had an arm draped over her shoulder and holding one of hers while we walked together, nearly tripping over one another constantly because of how close we were. Mia sounded so hopeful as she told me everything and I swear I could see a new spark in her eyes, which is all I could ever ask for. I'll protect her everything, including sadness and stress if I can even if it's coming from her dad. All I want is to see her smile more often even if it has nothing to do with me. She's got the prettiest smile I've ever seen and I swear I could just stare at her smiling for an entire day and still want more, still ache to see more. My head is a mess and she's got my heart doing somersaults with each breath she takes. I must've been quietly staring at her while we walked for a while because she stopped walking and looked up at me. "What are you thinking about so intensely?" she asked