Electric Love || Bucky Barnes X OC

Chapter 67

I willingly went to therapy in the morning with Bucky but I clammed up once we got there. Bucky did not push, he just held my hand and waited for me but the therapist was a little pushier than him. "Mia, why are you not willing to talk today?" She asked

"Because this topic is harder and I don't want to say it."

"Mi, you told me yesterday you wanted to talk about this with her." Bucky tried

"I know but..."

"But what Mia? You can tell me anything."

"I hid something from Bucky, that's what I wanted to talk about."

"What did you hide from him?"

I sighed heavily and squeezed Bucky's hand tightly. "I was pregnant when I was kidnapped but I didn't know. Oliver found out and beat me until...until I lost the baby."

"Why didn't you tell Bucky that?"

"Because I didn't know if he would care which I know now that he does care but I thought he never wanted kids. That was one of the things we fought about the most."

"You thought he wouldn't care that someone beat you until you lost his child?"

"I knew he would care that someone hurt me but I was afraid he'd be relieved to know I wasn't pregnant."

"Bucky?"

"Even if I never wanted kids, I would still care that someone hurt you but I also care that someone hurt our baby. That was our child, Mia and I'm so sorry that you had to go through it by yourself. I would've loved the child, you know that."

"I do now but I didn't think about it like that when I came back. You didn't want that life with me and I wasn't planning on forcing it on you."

"It was never that I didn't want it, it was that I didn't think I was capable of being that for you."

"Why did you think that?" The therapist asked

"Because I don't know the first thing about what it means to be a husband or a father. I still feel like I'm going to let you down but I'm not going to lose you because I'm not willing to try."

"That's insane, Buck. Being my husband is the same as being my boyfriend now. You take care of me, love me, protect me, and you do all of that because you want to not because you think you have to. You're already my partner, my person so the word husband is just a title. It's a piece of paper that ties us together and I know it's stupid that I want that but I do. I want to be your wife, I want to have your last name, I want to be pregnant with your kid and I want to watch you adore our little one as much as you do me."

"She's got a point. There isn't a difference between what you do now and what you would do then. You showing up to therapy and taking care of Mia tells me that you would be a good husband and father. It won't be easy and every parent feels like a bad parent at some point so you will too but you don't seem to be lacking in love at all."

"I don't need you to be the best father in the entire world Bucky, I don't need you to be the one who helps with homework and I don't expect you to never make a mistake. All I'm asking for is for you to love me for the rest of my life and to love a little us just as much."

I saw the tears welling in his eyes as I looked at him. He kissed the back of my hand before taking a deep breath. "I thought we were talking about you, Mia." He half laughed

There were already tears falling from my eyes but I laughed along with him as I leaned in. "We are talking about me but this is an us problem. I'm sorry I kept it a secret and I'm sorry I thought you wouldn't care because of course you would. I think I was just scared you'd reject me after I fought so hard for you."