Electric Love || Bucky Barnes X OC

Chapter 55

I was woken up by Bucky shooting up in the bed and leaving my head to fall off his chest where I'd settled when we fell asleep. He was sitting up, breathing hard with one hand on me and the other covering his face. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah."

I reached out and rubbed his back, hoping to offer him comfort. "What was this one about?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes Mia, it was about you and what happened. Expect in the dream I didn't make it in time and found you in a pool of blood already dead."

"I'm so sorry, I never wanted to be another reason for you to have nightmares." 

My hand fell from his back and I started to get out of bed. "Where are you going?" he asked once he noticed I was getting up

"I uh...I need a minute." I told him as I willed my voice not to shake

If I cry, there is no way he's letting me out of his sight, so I forced the tears back and tried not to let it show. "Don't leave."

"I'll come back, I just need a minute alone."

"Seriously, Mi, don't."

I rushed for the door and managed to slip out before he got up. Luckily, I knew he'd stop to get dressed, so I rushed down the stairs to the kitchen, where I found a can of black olives and a fork. I was sitting on the counter eating them when I heard footsteps that I assumed were Buck's so I looked at the floor. "Mia?" Steve asked 

"Oh hi, Steve. Can't sleep?"

"Yeah, something like that. What about you? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, I just needed to step away for a minute."

Steve nodded like he got it and went rummaging through the fridge before coming out with just a bottle of water. He started to walk away but stopped. "Do you want to talk about it? He is my best friend after all."

"Do you want to hear it?"

"Yeah, I've been a dick to both of you and I'm sorry for it. I want to help in any way I can, even if it's just listening to you when you need to talk."

"Thanks and I'm sorry too."

"Let's put it behind us and try to be friends for Bucky's sake."

"I agree."

"So what did he do now?"

"Nothing, it's all me. He woke up having a nightmare about me dying and I don't know if I can handle knowing that I scared him so badly he's having nightmares. I didn't want to make his life worse or add to his trauma but I did and I can't ever undo that. He'll never forget it."

"None of us will, it was an eye-opening moment for everyone. I think everyone is going to take safety and missions a little more seriously now but no, he'll never forget it or unsee it. Knowing him before and after the serum, I can tell you his memory is and always has been amazing. So yeah he'll never be able to forget what it felt like to carry your limp body or unsee you having a seizure or erase the memory of your blood on his hands..."

I interrupted Steve because if he kept going I was going to take myself out of the compound and run. "Is this supposed to make me feel better?"

"Give me a second, I was getting there. If there is one thing I understand about this, it's that Bucky loves you with every fiber of his being, and he'd rather have every one of those memories than not have you at all. If he's having nightmares, it's not your fault. Hydra made him afraid. Bucky was always the bravest person I knew, but Hydra put fear in him, and that fear still lives in his head. If this hadn't happened, he still would've started having nightmares because he's scared something will happen to you. Don't pull away, don't run away, just go back to bed."